Led by the Spirit

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." (Matt. 5:6)

Life is good right now. The last couple of weeks have been stressful, mainly due to a heavy workload, but since I've been making a conscious effort to dedicate each day to God, He's enabled me to get a great amount of work done in a short amount of time. My stress level, thankfully, has gone way down.

In the midst of things going right, I'm feeling a hunger. It seems like many times that hunger comes about when things are going wrong, but right now I think it's a hunger for more of God's Spirit to work in my life, not to swoop in and come to my rescue, but rather to lead me to new and exciting adventures.

I've been struggling with the desire for more Spirit-led worship at church. We have a great minister, a great worship leader and worship team, great shepherds and teachers and more ministries than hours in the day. But still, my soul hungers for less order and more leading by the Spirit. Not chaos, but yielding to whatever God has in store for us.

I'm not quite sure what to do with this hunger, except bring it before God. I wonder how many other people at church feel the same emptiness I do at times. I don't think I'm the only one, but who knows. Perhaps God is preparing me to play more than just "walk-on" role at church. We shall see...

At any rate, I feel that before I become critical of how I think my church should be, I need to do more yielding in my life. I have a lot of hopes and dreams for the future, which I believe that God planted in my heart long ago. Dreams like marriage, motherhood, a writing/speaking/teaching ministry. There's nothing wrong with these dreams, but I think they are just the tip of the iceberg. I believe that God has SO many more dreams in store for me if I would just yield to Him and let Him work.

A few months ago I went through a season of loneliness--not for companionship, because I have that. Not lonely simply for more friends, but desiring more deep friendships. By God's grace, I was able to reconnect with some friends who I now share a weekly accountability time with, and that has blessed me so much. There are other friends, some close and some far away, with whom I have a soul connection that is far deeper than just sharing an interest in the same movies or music. All of these close friends challenge, inspire and sharpen my faith. There is a great satisfaction in having friends with whom you share this great fellowship of Christ.

My hunger persists, though. I'm encouraged by Jesus' assurance in the Sermon on the Mount that our hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied. Maybe I'm expecting a different kind of satisfaction, and I need to even yield those expectations to God.

It takes a daily, sometimes hourly, conscious effort to yield it all--expectations, desires, decisions, everything--to God. I am excited about how God is going to fulfill this hunger I have. I'll keep you posted.

"I want"

I think that if I were to keep a running total of the number of times throughout the day that I said, "I want...", I think I would be ashamed. Especially if I compared it to the number of times that I asked God what HE wanted.

Lost and Found

Last night I took my dog Bailey with me when I went to my friend Jeni's house for dinner. Bailey and Jeni's dog played while we ate, then we let them out into the backyard while we talked. I'm not sure how long we had been talking when we noticed that the dogs were being awfully quiet in the backyard. Jeni went outside and discovered that her side gate had been opened, and the dogs were no where in sight.

We wandered the neighborhood, calling the dogs' names and offering silent prayers that they would be found alive and well. After several long minutes, the dogs finally appeared, tails wagging and panting heavily from their doggy adventure. I was greatly relieved to find Bailey, and I made sure she stayed close to me the rest of the evening.

On the ride home, I told Bailey (as if she could actually understand me!) that she was silly for running away, because she had it so good and was so spoiled living with me. I guess that every animal, human or otherwise, still longs to venture off at times into the unknown, not realizing how good a life they actually have.

Now, I imagine that the relief I felt at finding my dog is miniscule compared to the relief I would feel if my child had been lost and returned to me. I can't help but think of how great God's joy must be when one of His lost children return to Him.

He knows where all of His children are at all times, but He gives them the choice of returning; He doesn't force anyone to be with Him. So I can't help but think that God weeps tears of joy when He sees His beloved child in the distance, coming back to Him.

O God, let me never forget how good You treat me!

BUSY!!!

This week has been a doozy...seems like I'm running non-stop at work with way more work than I have time for. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I do think that He sometimes gives us way more than we THINK we can handle because it's His way of getting us to lean on Him.

I just wish I'd hurry up and learn that lesson already so I wouldn't have so much to do! :)

The Center

Today is my wonderful boyfriend's birthday! Happy birthday Jon!!!

I had a hard time finding just the right birthday card for him, partly because I'm rather indecisive in matters like that, but mostly because finding a card for your sweetie that isn't filled with sexual innuendo or that doesn't make it sound like your boyfriend or girlfriend is the center of the universe is quite a challenge. It was even harder to find an appropriate card at Valentine's Day--it seems like every card had some message about how the intended receiver was the most important thing in the world.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Jon very much and he is a very important part of my life. But he's not the center of it. And I'm not the center of his life. No matter how good the relationship is, NO ONE should occupy the center of our lives except for God. That is His rightful place.

Certainly it's tempting to put someone else, especially someone you're in love with, in that spot. But I find that when I start to veer in that direction, when I become more concerned with what Jon (or anyone else, for that matter) thinks of me than what God thinks of me, then I'm asking for trouble.

No matter how much we love them or they love us, ultimately even the best people in our lives will let us down. That is not to say that we shouldn't love or trust them. In fact, loving others is an extension of our love for God.

But looking for other people to fulfill us never works. Only God can do that.

So today I celebrate the awesome gift that Jon is, but more importantly, I also celebrate the awesome Gift Giver.

Scripture for Today

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19)

Thoughts on Love

"Love is a wonderful thing." --Michael Bolton

"Love hurts." --Nazareth

"Love is strange." --Mickey and Sylvia

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." --Forrest Gump

I suppose that everyone has their own definition of love. It really depends on their individual experiences, good and bad, with love.

For the ultimate definiton of love, we often turn to "The Love Chapter" of the Bible, I Corinthians 13:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." --I Cor. 13:4-8a

This passage always challenges me, sometimes one aspect more than another. Right now I'm particularly challenged by the concept that love "is not self-seeking." Ouch! It's so easy to fall into the trap of expecting the people who I love and who love me to treat me exactly as I want to be treated, all the time. I want them to read my mind and shower me with attention and affection (or, at other times, leave me alone).

And when that doesn't happen, I start to wonder if my loved ones really love me. Oh, I'm sure they do--but sometimes I don't feel very loved. This is not limited to my earthly loved ones; sometimes I don't feel very loved by God, either.

That doesn't mean that they don't love me, or that He doesn't love me. It means that I'm defining love on my own terms, rather than on God's. Often, it means that I'm too busy focusing on what I want (i.e., seeking my own) rather than on how God wants me to love those in my life.

I find that when I make a conscious effort to put aside my own selfish expectations and accept God's love, and the love of His people, without question, then I'm much more at peace and relaxed. When I seek to love others without wondering if or how they will return that love, then I have a better grasp of what love truly is.

Well Read

I love to read. I started reading at the age of four (or so my parents claim) and I haven't looked back since. Growing up, it seems like we took a trip to the library just about every week--I know, GEEK ALERT! But my passion for books is a great gift, in my opinion.

 

Lately I've found myself doing less and less reading and more and more TV watching. I want to reverse that trend. I want to spend at least a half hour every night reading. Not only that, I want to read works that are eye-opening and challenging, that cause me to examine my motives and my habits and my thinking.

 

That said, do any of you have any recommendations of books that you've considered life-changing or particularly challenging to your faith?

When Nothing Seems to Be Happening

It's *funny* how there are certain times when I'm struggling with a particular issue or have a certain decision to make, and in the midst of those times I read an article or hear a radio program or song that speaks exactly to my situation. Of course, it's not coincidence; it's God at work, reminding me that He DOES know what I'm dealing with and crying out to Him about.

Today was another one of those days where God must have known that I needed some reassurance, because He gave me not one but TWO messages along the theme of handling life when nothing seems to be happening. The following is a devotional written by Elisabeth Elliott that I read this afternoon. I also want to share a transcript from a broadcast that I heard on the radio when I woke up this morning; because of its length, I'll just give you the link here and you can check it out for yourself.

I hope that these thoughts encourage you as much as they have me.

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No Evidence of Progress
By Elisabeth Elliot
Taken From: A Lamp For My Feet

At times nothing seems to be happening. So it must be for the bird that sits on her nest. Things are apparently at a standstill. But the bird sits quietly, knowing that in the stillness something vital is going on, and in the proper time it will be shown. It takes faith and patience for the bird, and such faith and patience never seem to waver, day after day, night after night, as she bides the appointed time.

Restless and doubtful we wonder why we have nothing to show for our efforts, no visible evidence of progress. Let us remember the perfect egg--unchanged in its appearance from the day it is laid. But while the bird waits faithfully, doing the only thing she is required to do throughout those silent weeks, important things are taking place.

I wait for the Lord. My soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning. --(Ps 130:5, 6 RSV)

Copyright 2006, Elisabeth Elliot

Mighty Power

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people. I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 1:18-20, emphasis mine)

There are certain passages of Scripture that are just so incredible that they blow me away. This is one of them. Can you imagine that the same power that conquered death is at work in us? This is the power that defies the odds, that does the impossible, that makes miracles happen.

This is the power that I need to change my heart, change my actions, my habits. This is the power that I need to conquer my temptations and face the enemy. How often do I sail through my day without tapping into that power? Too often.

The cross is not only a reminder of what God's power has done, but also what His power can do today. His power did not die on the cross, nor did it ascend when Jesus did. God's power, the very power that raised Jesus from the dead, is at work in our lives today. Amazing!

Preparing for Easter

Growing up in the church of Christ, where we have the Lord's Supper every Sunday and thus take time to reflect on His death and resurrection each week, Easter Sunday (in my experience, anyway) has by and large been a bit anti-climactic, at least compared to other denominations.

I don't recall EVER celebrating or even acknowledging Palm Sunday, nor do I remember any special services just prior to Easter. I'd never even heard of Lent until meeting friends who were from other denominations that practice Lent. Good Friday was basically just a day out of school. Granted, my memory may be failing and I just don't remember being part of a church that really celebrated Easter as the pinnacle of the Christian's year.

I'd like to visit other churches, other denominations, to see how they approach this most sacred of weekends. Perhaps I'll partake in Lent. I want Easter to be more than just an excuse to buy a new outfit for church. I think that because we do have the Lord's Supper every week, sometimes the crucifixion and resurrection can become just stories that we've heard a zillion times instead of living, breathing, affecting-me-now moments.

As part of preparing my heart and my mind for Easter, this weekend I'm going to try an experiment. Every time that someone gets on my nerves, cuts me off in traffic, hogs the copy machine at work, asks annoying questions, acts rude, I'm going to whisper to myself, "Christ died for them." And any time I find myself feeling haughty, holier-than-thou, acting rude or self-righteous, I'm going to remind myself, "Christ died for YOU, Lisa. Not because you're Miss Perfect, but because you're a messed-up sinner in need of saving!"

Hopefully this small practice will help me see Easter as the greatest day. How are you preparing your heart and mind for Easter? Any special ritual that you and/or your church or family do?

The Power of Pause

This morning I was washing a load of laundry. Midway through the wash cycle, the washing machine paused for a couple of minutes. The first few times it did this when I first bought my washing machine, I would think that the cycle was already finished, but when I walked over to the machine, I would realize that it was just pausing mid-cycle, preparing for the next round of spinning and rinsing.

As I heard the machine take its usual mid-cycle break this morning, I thought about how often I think that, because one part of my life or another is on "pause", I assume that God's done with that. In reality, He may be just letting me catch my breath before sending me spinning through the next cycle He has planned for me.

I need to never forget that until I take my last breath, God's not through with my life yet.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " (Jer. 29:11)

Drama

There are many, many traits and characteristics that I love about being a woman. But I have to say that one of my least-favorite is our tendency to be...well, dramatic. By that I mean, getting upset over seemingly petty issues, making mountains out of molehills, and letting hurt feelings ruin our day or even our lives.

There are many, many traits and characteristics that I love about men. God has blessed me with some wonderful men in my family, among my friends, in my boyfriend, and in my workplace. And one of the qualities that I admire most in men is their tendency to avoid drama. Most men that I know do not let the little things worry them. They don't get upset over being left out. Or if they do, they settle things quickly and move on with their lives.

Granted, there are many men in the world who are drama kings, and there are many women who avoid drama like the plague. I really don't like to say that "all" men or "all" women act a certain way, because I know that even among the opposite sexes, God has made us each unique. I am very grateful that God does a great job of balancing the amount of drama queens and kings in the world with other people who are more even-keeled.

The older and hopefully wiser I become, the more I am learning to let go of the petty and focus on what's truly important. Satan so often uses such drama to get us all riled up and lose focus. It is so easy to get bogged down in the mundane and meaningless and totally miss out on what God has planned for us.

A Day of Rest

I love the idea of committing one day a week to a day of rest, a Sabbath day. Putting that idea into action, however, is often a lot harder. It seems like there is a never-ending to-do list in my mind: fold laundry, empty the dishwasher, mow the grass, weed the flowerbeds, go grocery shopping, pay bills, return e-mails... Giving up a day in a week that is already cram-full of obligations and necessities seems like an impossible thing to do.

But lately I've tried to set aside a day, usually Sunday, to limit activity and take some time off to rest. And guess what? I've come to realize that the world will not fall apart if I put off my laundry for a day. The neighbors probably won't revolt if I let the grass grow a day taller.

Taking a day off to rest means trusting that God will enable me to do in 6 days what it takes most people 7 days to accomplish. The Sabbath commandment given in the Old Testament was more than giving the Israelites a break from working. It was about resting their souls as well as their bodies, allowing them to trust in God to provide for them when they were unable to provide for themselves.

Today was a gorgeous spring day, a cloudless sky, warm but not too warm, a perfect day for me to do yardwork. I took a nap instead. I read the paper. I rested between church and my life group meeting. The grass will wait. I can mow it tomorrow night. But today my body and my soul needed to rest.

Makeover

My backyard has been in desperate need of a makeover ever since, well, I first moved in more than six years ago. When I moved in, I made several cosmetic changes to the interior of my house, but it's taken a lot longer to tackle the outside.

I've decided that I'm going to spend the next few months investing my time and money into giving my backyard a makeover. Impatient me would love to snap my fingers and have the entire yard transformed at once. Sadly, that's not going to happen. I could attempt to make over huge areas of the yard all at once, but I fear that I'd quickly become overwhelmed, discouraged and ultimately quit.

So right now, my mission is to tackle a little of the yard at a time. The picture above is a snapshot of the flower bed I worked on this past Saturday. It started as a weedy, leaf-riddled bed, and now I've added several flowers, plants and pine straw. It's a very small start on the backyard transformation, but it's one less spot to transform now.

Likewise, there are many parts of me that I feel are in need of a makeover. And I wish that I could just snap my fingers and poof! transformation occurs. Or I wish that I could go to sleep and wake up with more patience, more trust, less of a critical attitude--all those characteristics that I struggle with changing.

In reading through the Bible, I notice that God's makeovers typically aren't an instantaneous deal (unless you count Saul/Paul, although I'm not sure I'd want a makeover as radical as his). For the most part, God used a combination of time and difficult circumstances to transform His people. Moses was sent to herd sheep in the desert for forty years to cool his hot head off and prepare to herd the nation of Israel out of Egypt. David was sent out of the king's palace and into hiding in caves as he learned to rely not on his own strength and power but on God's.

I believe that God is still in the business of transformation, but He usually takes the one step at a time approach, not the all-over extreme makeover that we might prefer. That doesn't mean that He can't or won't infiltrate every ounce of our hearts and bodies that need His makeover skills. Indeed, He is not limited; however, perhaps one of the reasons that He sometimes seems so slow to transform us is that our finite beings are too easily overwhelmed with too much, too soon.

Basketball and Church

The last three weekends have been nirvana for college basketball junkies like myself. Some games down to the wire, a Cinderella story in George Mason, all the #1 seeds being knocked out prior to the Final Four...lots of excitement as usually is the case with the tournament. And even though my perennial favorites, 'Bama and Duke, were eliminated early on, I'm still looking forward to tonight's final game.

This is a tough game to call. Florida and UCLA both looked like they were giving workshops on Saturday. I'm going to follow my heart (not always a wise decision, I'll admit) and give the edge to Florida. I always like when a team wins its first championship (except when it's over Duke), and UCLA already has 11 of them under their belt.

My prediction for the final score is Florida 72, UCLA 68. Good thing I'm not a betting woman, since my reasons for picking a team are not always logical. But hey, since when are women logical? :)

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I love the congregation where I attend church, but sometimes it's just too darn big. Right now we're somewhere around 1,200+ members on the roll, and I'd say we average over 1,000 in attendance each Sunday. We've had tremendous growth over the past 10 years, and it's all God's doing.

But...there are a lot of complications that come with having such a large congregation. The main one is that it's very difficult to get to know people, because there are so many people to meet. It's easy to have surface-y relationships, but going deeper is a challenge at times.

We have small groups (life groups) that meet on Sunday nights in each other's homes. This is a great way to have a "small" church within a huge church. I'm really enjoying the group I'm in this year.

Still, there are times when I long to be in a smaller church--in this case, smaller could mean 500 people, which is still considered a large church by many standards. I was talking this over with a couple of friends the other night, and one of them commented on the fact that sometimes you feel more needed in a smaller church, or you feel like you can do more for God there.

I think God can use me whether I'm in a church of 100 people or 1,000 people. But sometimes I do wonder if I'm needed elsewhere. And sometimes I don't want to be needed--I want to just sit back and relax and soak everything in and let someone else do the work.

I've thought a lot about mission work lately. I'm not sure if God's leading my heart in that direction for a short-term mission trip, or if I'm meant to move to Africa or Asia or South America someday for a long-term commitment to mission work.

No matter where I end up, the point is that God has put me here, at this church, for now, for a reason. I'm trying to remember that, especially when I start longing to feel needed. He can use me right here, right now, if I just let Him.