Spring Break

There's a nasty sinus crud that's been circulating around our office, and I have finally succumbed to it and am taking a sick day. It's been a crazy couple of months and I feel like I've been going pretty much non-stop at work lately, so I think my poor body just needs a break. Now that things are starting to slow down somewhat, I'd planned on taking a much-needed day off next week, but I guess that wasn't soon enough.

It's rather frustrating to be out sick, particularly on such a beautiful spring-like day. If I felt better I'd be all for mowing my grass or out running errands. Then again, if I felt better I'd be at work today. Still, I'm trying to be positive and think of things to be thankful for, such as:

-I'm thankful that it's been about 3 years since I've had any sort of sickness. Of course, being sick makes me appreciate my normal good health even more.

-I'm thankful that my fever has gone away, and I'm confident that I'll be feeling better and back at work tomorrow.

-I'm thankful that I have co-workers who can handle things for me when I'm gone.

-I'm thankful for the access to medicine, kleenex, diet ginger ale, and other supplies to help me feel better. So many people don't have access to or can't afford such luxuries.

-I'm thankful that I can actually take a sick day without losing pay or worrying about my job security.

-I'm thankful for cable TV and DVDs and books to entertain me today. And of course for the internet!

-I'm thankful for the well wishes and prayers from friends. I am blessed!

More Than You Know

The other day someone reminded me of something that I had done for them and how much it meant to them. To be honest, I had forgotten all about what I had done; it happened several years ago, and I'm sure that even then I thought it was a small gesture on my part. Obviously it meant a great deal more to them than I imagined, considering that they still remember it.

While it did cheer me to know that something I'd done had a surprisingly profound impact on that person, it also humbled me as I realized anew just how powerful my words and actions can be. Certainly God has gifted me with certain abilities and skills meant to be used for performing acts of love and encouragement in His name. But if I'm not careful, my words and actions can also be used for evil, to discourage, criticize, act selfishly, neglect, abuse.

So often I fail to recognize the influence that God has given me. I sometimes undervalue the little opportunities that He gives me to reach out to people, because I am so often looking for a grand gesture. But on God's scale, all gestures are small without Him and grand with Him.

Several times in the Gospels, Jesus emphasizes the importance of so-called "small" gestures:

I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward. (Mark 9:41)

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (Matthew 25:35-40)

I shudder to think of how many opportunities I've missed to serve and bless others because I didn't think that what I could say or do would really matter. I'm grateful for those times when I DO speak up or perform an act of kindness, insignificant as it may seem to me at the time. Often when I'm faithful in these little things, God opens doors for greater service.

Let me encourage you to not discount the significance of your words and actions, no matter how unimportant they may appear to you. You never know the impact that you're having on those around you.

Camping Out

Note: I originally published this post on March 9, 2008, but thought it was worth re-visiting.

On the day the Tabernacle was set up, the cloud covered it. But from evening until morning the cloud over the Tabernacle looked like a pillar of fire. This was the regular pattern—at night the cloud that covered the Tabernacle had the appearance of fire. Whenever the cloud lifted from over the sacred tent, the people of Israel would break camp and follow it. And wherever the cloud settled, the people of Israel would set up camp. In this way, they traveled and camped at the Lord’s command wherever he told them to go. Then they remained in their camp as long as the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle. If the cloud remained over the Tabernacle for a long time, the Israelites stayed and performed their duty to the Lord. Sometimes the cloud would stay over the Tabernacle for only a few days, so the people would stay for only a few days, as the Lord commanded. Then at the Lord’s command they would break camp and move on. Sometimes the cloud stayed only overnight and lifted the next morning. But day or night, when the cloud lifted, the people broke camp and moved on. Whether the cloud stayed above the Tabernacle for two days, a month, or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on. But as soon as it lifted, they broke camp and moved on. So they camped or traveled at the Lord’s command, and they did whatever the Lord told them through Moses. (Numbers 9:15-23, emphasis mine)

As much as I enjoy traveling, I'm not so sure that I would have enjoyed taking this journey with the Israelites. I like to know in advance where I'm going, and, specifically, how and when we're going to get there. If I'm going to an unfamiliar place, I like to do research and read up on what to expect, the best route to take, how much time to allow for getting there.

The Israelites, however, were not privy to this sort of information. It does not appear that they had much (if any) advance notice about when they would be packing their tents up and moving to the next location. And when they arrived at their destination, they didn't know how long they would be camping there. In some cases it was a few days, in others, a few months or longer. There was no itinerary or atlas to consult.

All they knew was to look for the presence of the Lord in the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night. Wherever the cloud went, they followed. And they did not move until the cloud did, and did not stop moving until the cloud stopped.

I can't help but marvel at how this method of traveling must have tried the patience of some of the Israelites. I wonder if they awoke each morning expecting this to be the day that their journey continued. Did they eagerly look forward to moving on to their next stopping place, or did they dread the packing process? How difficult it must have been to live out of suitcases for forty years.

As I read through this passage in Numbers, I was struck a couple of statements in particular. First, no matter how short or how long the amount of time was that they camped out at a location, the Israelites stayed there. They did not break camp without God's lead. I imagine that there were times of frustration over not knowing how long they'd be there. But they knew that it was in their best interest to follow God's lead rather than to strike out on their own.

The second statement that I noticed was the fact that as soon as the cloud lifted, they moved. They didn't dilly-dally or make excuses about not being ready to go. They were prepared at all times to move on whenever God was ready to move.

The image of the Israelites following God's lead through the wilderness is an important one to keep in mind in each season of life that we journey through. There are seasons that may only last a few weeks or months. Some may last years or decades. Some may go by in a flash, while other seasons seem endless. It is important for us to remain encamped wherever God wants us to, for as long as He wants us to. Waiting on God to move us can be a painful, frustrating experience if we keep looking ahead and trying to figure out the next destination on our journey or when we're going to get there. When, like Israel, we instead focus on our Guide, the journey is much more pleasurable.

It is equally important to be prepared to move on when He's ready for us to move into the next season of life. We can become so accustomed to where we are right now, so comfortable with the place God has us in this particular season, that we become reluctant to move on, fearful even. It's good to remember that God will not leave us in one particular place longer than absolutely necessary, nor will He lead us anywhere that does not ultimately benefit us.

Dying to Self

Dying to self sounds great and noble in theory, but in reality is quite painful. I'd prefer the kind of "death" where I fall asleep and wake up transformed into exactly what God wants me to be, fully obedient, grace-filled, patient, loving, forgiving, the whole nine yards. And no longer wrestling with desires that do not appear to be part of God's will for me.

Alas, that type of death is not to be. We're called to present ourselves as living sacrifices--submitting ourselves to the flames of God's altar. And last I checked, fire burns pretty badly. Perhaps that is why I keep pulling away, trying to escape the pain. I want to exchange my life, my desires and dreams for His, but I don't want the hurts and struggles that are part of the transforming process.

But it is often in that very struggle and through those very hurts that I experience God's love and mercy in greater depths than I would otherwise. As torturous as this death is at times, that is the only way to experience the true life that God has to offer.

Just this morning I was thinking about a particular situation that is causing some heartache, and reminded myself that maybe the reason God had not provided an escape from the situation was because He was using it to draw me closer to Him. This life is not about me, much as my ego would like to think otherwise. Only in dying to self and living for God can I find true fulfillment. Only in laying myself upon His altar can I allow Him to work His transformation on my heart and my life.