Making Room

Several years ago I made a deal with myself that, being the clothes horse that I am, whenever I buy new clothes I have to give some of my old clothes away. This helps me keep my closet in halfway-decent shape and prevents me from having a total meltdown because of too many choices of what to wear. It also forces me to rid my closet of clothes that I haven't worn in a long time.

Deciding which clothes get the heave-ho is sometime difficult. Sentimentality can play a large role in determining which items make the cut. For instance, I have a couple of sweatshirts from my college days that are ratty and oversized and don't ever get to leave the house. But I keep them anyway because they remind me of my days working in the sports information office and going to ballgames and what a blast I had.

There are a variety of reasons that I no longer wear some of my clothes. Some of them are too big for me (yay!). Others are (ahem) a little on the tight side. (Must have shrunk in the wash.) And then there are some that are just out of style. In a few cases, the clothes never were a great fit for me, the cut or color didn't flatter me, and I should have left them on the sales rack to begin with.

As I think about getting rid of some old clothes to make room for new, I'm also thinking about the friendships and relationships that I've experienced over the years. Some have become what I consider classic friendships--like that perfect black pair of pants or white button down shirt that never go out of style. I may go through phases where I'm closer to those friends than at other times, but I know they'll always be part of my life in one way or another.

Then there are some friendships that ran their course and ended gradually. These are friendships that no longer fit where I am in life. That doesn't mean that there was anything wrong with those particular friends; it's just that our friendship was only meant to last a season, and that season has passed. Those can be difficult friendships to let go of, even though I know we no longer fit as well as we once did.

When you've invested time and energy and emotion in a friendship and it seems to have transitioned into a more casual friendship (or, in some cases, a nonexistent one altogether), it's hard to admit. But I'm realizing that sometimes I have to make room and let some friends go in order to allow God to bring new friends into my life. And who knows, God may choose to bring those old friends back into my life at some point down the line. Or He may have an even deeper, better fitting friendship in store for me. Day by day, I'm learning to trust Him to know which people I need in my life at that particular moment. He truly knows what fits me best.

Enough

Am I the only one who struggles with an identity crisis from time to time? Something tells me I'm not, but for the sake of those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, let me enlighten you a bit. I'm normally a laidback, go with the flow, optimistic, cheerful person. But once in a while, doubt and insecurity rear their ugly heads. I begin to question the reason for my existence. I wonder if my friends really like me. I suspect that I am way off track in reaching the purpose that God has for me being here and that I'm just wasting my life.

(Can I get a witness?)

It's even harder when I run into people, whether in real life or on Facebook or email, who seem to be leading adventuresome lives filled with families and great job opportunities and travel and ministry. When they ask what's new with me, I usually can't think of anything equally exciting to share. Discovering a great new restaurant or new laundry detergent, while nerdily thrilling to me, just does not seem all that glamorous in comparsion.

At times like this, it's tempting to start playing the "more" game. If only I were more [fill in the blank]. More talented. More disciplined. More athletic. More generous. More stylish. More patient. More careful with my finances. More motivated. More committed to reading my Bible.

I think you get the point.

The problem with the "more" game is that "more" is not really enough. The thing is, I can keep piling on "more" of everything--including more guilt that I haven't done "more" with my life--and that still won't solve my identity crisis. It's at times like these when I have to be reminded that I am already enough. Not because of anything I've done--but because God has told me that I'm enough.

Over the past couple of years, whenever I've started fretting over my future and try to figure things out and how I can be "more" of whatever it is I think I need to be more of, I've sensed God whispering to me, "Cease striving." That refrain has echoed in my head time after time, reminding me that it's not up to me to make things happen. I'm to ask, seek, knock--and wait for God to answer.

Just last night I was in one of those "more" moods. As I turned in for the night and picked up the book I'm currently reading, I immediately came across this little gem: "Stop striving to be more and appreciate what it is you already are." How thoughtful of God to plunk that sentence down in front of me at just the right time. I laughed. I am enough.

Favorite Things

It's true that some of the best things in life are free. In a time where everyone is cutting back on expenses where they can, I thought I'd reflect on some of my favorite things that cost very little (at least monetarily; they may cost some time and effort). Here's a quick list, in no particular order:

-A bed with freshly laundered sheets
-A great cup of coffee
-Homegrown tomatoes
-Watching SEC football--especially Alabama football
-Leaves changing color in the fall
-Baby giggles
-A Saturday with no set plans, where I don't have to be anywhere at any particular time
-Coming home to a crockpot percolating with some yummy soup or stew
-Taking a nap on a rainy Sunday afternoon
-Getting a really good scalp massage from the shampoo girl at the salon
-Hearing the crack of a bat at a baseball game
-Diving into a new book

What would you add to the list?

Little Mercies

It's taken many years but I've finally learned that God doesn't grant us grace and peace and joy and other blessings in one big lump payment, but rather doles them out day by day--sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute--as we need them. While I like it when He shows up in a great big miraculous way, in some ways I get even more encouragement in the seemingly little things that He does for me. Perhaps those little acts remind me that no part of my life is insignificant in His eyes.

Take today, for instance. I woke up in a funk. I've been wrestling with my identity, with what I am meant to be doing with my life, and where I'm meant to be, figuratively as well as geographically speaking, and this wrestling and uncertainty is taking a toll on me. I needed some encouragement, yet I'm not the best about asking for it.

Midway through my day, I received an unexpected email from an acquaintance who I only see and email with a few times a year. She is a very dear, sweet person who I always enjoy visiting with, but we're not close friends and she doesn't know what I've been wrestling with lately. In her email, she said that she was thinking of me today and praying that I'd be filled with peace and joy. There was no question in my mind that God put me on her mind today and prompted her to pray for me and to email me.

Once again, I was reminded of how infinitely perfect God's timing and ways truly are. Little by little, day by day, He is strengthening my faith in Him and teaching me to trust Him with ALL areas of my life--the really big areas as well as the seemingly mundane areas. Sometimes it's these little moments that help get me through the day.