Book Review: Searching for God Knows What

My latest book from Booksneeze is Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. Originally published in 2004, the book has recently been revised and re-released.

I've heard of Donald Miller before but this was the first book of his that I'd read. I'm happy to say that it won't be the last. I found Miller to be extremely refreshing, asking some difficult questions about Christianity that I too have struggled with over the years. I appreciate his honest and earnest search for authentic representation of the Gospel.

Miller discusses the trap that many churches and religions fall into, that of treating Christianity as a formula to follow rather than being about an intimate relationship with Christ. As Miller puts it, "the essence of God's message to mankind wasn't a bunch of hoops we needed to jump through to get saved, and it wasn't a series of ideas with had to agree with either; rather, it was an invitation, and invitation to know God." (pg. 14)

I think that this book will appeal not only to those who, like me, are longtime Christians who are weary of the formulaic messages of how to get salvation and have all your prayers answered in five easy steps, but also to non-Christians who are seeking something more in their lives. Authenticity is a quality that seems to be in short supply these days, and I find myself drawn to people and groups who display authenticity in their lives. This book is a challenge to me to view my personal faith as a relationship with Christ, not a formula to follow. And relationships are messy, not tied up neatly with a bow. Yet that's the only way to experience authentic, true life in Christ, mess and all.

I'll be adding Searching for God Knows What to my collection of books that I read over and over again, and I look forward to reading more of Miller's work.

Free to Be Me

God always knows exactly what every person needs. God had Abraham take a walk, Elijah take a nap, Joshua take a lap and Adam take the rap. God gave Moses a forty-year time-out, He gave David a harp and a dance, He gave Paul a pen and a scroll, He wrestled with Jacob, He argued with Job, He whispered to Elijah, He warned Cain, He comforted Hagar, He gave Aaron an author, He gave Miriam a song, He gave Gideon a fleece, He gave Peter a name, He gave Elisha a mantle.

Jesus was stern with the rich young ruler, He was tender with the woman caught in adultery, He was blistering with the Pharisees, He was challenging with the disciples, He was gentle with the children, He was gracious with the thief on the cross.

God never grows two people the same way. God is a hand-crafter, not a mass producer. And now it’s your turn. God has existed from all eternity, but this is something God has never done before. God has never had a relationship with you before. And the problem so many people face when it comes to spiritual growth is they listen to somebody they think of as the expert--maybe it’s the pastor of their church or somebody who writes or leads--talk about what they do and then people think, That's what I'm supposed to do...

God’s plan is that He wants you to be His best version of you, but that will not look exactly like His plan for anybody else. And it will take freedom and experimentation for me to learn how does God want to grow me up.

--John Ortberg

Pain in Progress

Over the past few years, God has done a lot of healing in my heart. And I mean A LOT. But from time to time, a fresh little wave of pain will hit me, seemingly out of nowhere. A distant memory is conjured up. A comment stirs feelings that I thought were long ago put to bed.

When this happens, my reaction is typically to become frustrated, because pain feels like the opposite of progress. Pain feels like something's wrong, like something should be dealt with that hasn't (at least, not adequately enough).

Tonight I was thinking about God's ways are infinitely higher than ours, and how His plans for us sometimes include pain--not to harm us, but for our own good. Despite my inclination to think otherwise, pain is not always a bad or harmful thing. And it doesn't necessarily mean that we're not making progress.

If you are diagnosed with cancer and the doctor recommends chemotherapy, it's for your own good. That doesn't negate the often painful side effects of chemo, nor does it mean that the chemo's not working if you're feeling sick as a result. Despite the side effects, it can bring about healing.

Even if you're healthy, maintaining a healthy body is not easy. Exercise can be painful, time consuming and not always fun. But that doesn't mean it's not yielding good results. The pain is bringing about progress.

Perhaps one of the greatest examples of pain producing something good is childbirth. Labor pains are no picnic (so I've been told). But they're not meaningless--they serve to bring forth life.

Pain is not the opposite of progress. Quite often, they go hand in hand, as God uses pain not to harm us or punish us but to help bring forth healing and new life within us.

The Critic Inside

I don't know about you, but I am probably my own worst critic. Although I try to maintain a positive attitude, there are times when I struggle with self-doubt and self-criticism.

• Whenever I see a photo of myself, I automatically begin scrutinizing my appearance. Does my hair look okay? Does that outfit make me look fat? Is my smile weird? And--if I'm in a group shot--how do I look compared to everyone else?

• My workout schedule has been sporadic for the past few months. Instead of being proud of the days that I DO work out, I tend to beat myself up on those days where I skip the workouts instead. And when I do work out, it's all too easy to focus on being short of breath and not having the stamina to do as many push-ups as the perky trainer on the DVD, rather than congratulate myself for having more muscle definition and better balance than I used to.

• When driving home from work or laying in bed at night, I sometimes find my mind settling on the projects that I didn't complete (or didn't even start) that day rather than being thankful for the work that I did get done.

It's difficult to silence my inner critic. I try to remind myself to focus on the positive, but that's easier said than done sometimes. I realize that Satan often uses these moments to get me really down on myself, and that can degrade into a total "Woe is me, I can't do anything right" mindset if I don't watch it.

Am I the only one who faces these criticisms from within? How do you fend them off?

Plans

I've just returned from a trip overseas. It was a fantastic experience with new friends made and wonderful memories captured on camera and in my mind. Our group spent many months in prayerful preparation for this trip, raising money, seeking God's guidance, arranging all the logistics. And after a whirlwind two weeks overseas, we're back home, back to our regular routines and (for the most part) our regular sleep patterns.

Even before the trip ended, Satan started in on the lies: You're not doing any good here. You're just here for yourself. You're not making a difference to anyone you're meeting.

My birthday is tomorrow. Lately birthdays have become more melancholy. It's all too tempting to view my life from the perspective of where I thought I would be at this point in my life and where I actually am. And that provides more fodder for Satan: Your life is one big holding pattern. No one wants to spend their life with you. You blew your chances for the life you want long ago.

Lies, lies, lies. Yes, I know Satan is a deceiver, a thief who comes to steal and kill and destroy. But for some reason there are times when I still find myself buying into his lies. There are some days when the lies keep pounding away at my resistance and it's so easy to believe them.

Today I combatted those lies by reminding myself of some Truths:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16b)

Regardless of what I can or cannot see going on in my life, God DOES have a plan for me. And not only does He have a plan, He's working it out RIGHT NOW.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the eyes of my heart--I want to see you. I want to see you.