Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Fear Factor

Don’t take this the wrong way, but you intimidate me. Yes, you, gentle reader. It’s occurred to me that by publishing this blog, sharing my thoughts and feelings with friends, family and strangers, I am putting myself way out there. There’s a real fear factor here, a real vulnerability that I’m open myself up to in my writing.

What if what I say isn’t of any relevance to anyone but me? What if I sound stupid? What if I misspell a word? (Horrors!) Worse, what if I say something offensive or insensitive? What if no one’s reading??

Then I think, Lisa, who are you trying to impress? Who are you seeking adulation and adoration from? God or man? It’s easy to talk about wanting to do all things to the glory of God—living it is another matter.

Countless times throughout my day, I’m more focused on what others think than what God thinks. I measure success—in my writing, in my job, in cooking—by the response of people, instead of by what God says.

So throughout this blog, just like throughout every other aspect of my entire life, I’ll be in a constant battle to resist the temptation to make myself “sound good”. The focus should be on God and what He say, letting Him use me to share Himself with others. Die to myself and live for Him.

The battle wages on…

Lisa



2 comments:

Jon said...
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Rhonda said...

Lisa,

I know how you feel! It is scary to put yourself out there! Especially when strangers or people you don't know well will be reading your thoughts! But I've found that God blesses you when you do!! :)

I went to a seminar last week. One thing the presenter said that has stuck with me was that when you start thinking to yourself things like "I wonder what Jane Doe thought about what I said or did." you should change your thought to "What other people think of me is none of my business!". That's a very hard thing to do! But maybe us taking this step to let God use us to share Himself with others will help us get to the point where what God thinks is the only thing that matters!

Thanks for letting God use you! :)

Rhonda