Friday, January 20, 2006

Sometimes Superwoman Needs a Hero, Too

Antonio Davis of the New York Knicks has been suspended for 5 games for entering the stands during Wednesday night's game at Chicago to defend his wife, who he thought was being threatened by a fan. There have been many NBA players throughout the years who have, for one reason or another, right or wrong, ended up in the stands--chasing an errant basketball, or confronting a hostile fan. But Davis' instinct to come to his wife's rescue, while punishable under the NBA's zero-tolerance policy, is something to be admired, in my opinion.

I consider myself a fairly independent woman. I've lived on my own since I graduated from college and got my first job at 22. With the exception of one year, I've lived sans roommate through all these years. I've had to kill bugs on my own, move furniture on my own, cut my own grass and clean my own bathroom. I've had to pay all the bills myself. I've had to deal with car repairs and house repairs on my own.

I'm not bragging; I'm just pointing out that I've become independent, to a large degree, out of necessity. Even today, with a dad and boyfriend who are willing and able to help me out with household projects, I still find it hard to let them help at times, because I'm used to doing things on my own. Sometimes my boyfriend refers to me as "Superwoman", and that's not necessarily a compliment.

Reading about Davis coming to his wife's defense reminded me that, deep down inside, we Superwomen want the knight in shining armor to ride to our rescue. As John Eldredge put it in his wonderful book Wild at Heart, we women want to know that we are beautiful, and we want to be rescued, and we want to share in man's adventure. I'm sure a lot of men dismiss our desire for romance and rescue as insecurity on our parts--and I'm sure a lot of women think that they must be insecure if they desire someone to ride to their rescue.

I can buy myself flowers. I can tell myself that I'm beautiful (hopefully without anyone in earshot, or else I sound pretty vain). But it means so much when it comes from someone else. (Note: I'm not basing my identity on what others think or say about me. This is different.)

The older (and hopefully wiser) that I get, the more I'm admitting that my desire for romance and feeling worthy of being rescued and desired isn't just some fantasy that I came up with on my own. It's desire that God placed within my feminine heart. Sometimes the Superwoman in me hates admitting it. But it's true.


DJG said...

Great thoughts. Wanting to feel appreciated and defended is not the same as feeling needy or dependent. It is a natural feeling.

That Girl said...

It's hard for me to separate it from being needy.... I think maybe I would like to be defended.