Wounded Anyone Lately?

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:5,6)

I'm not a big fan of confrontation. I'd really rather pray about a situation and ask God to act rather than have to act myself. There have been times where I've felt God calling me to confront a close friend about some behavior or incident, and while I obeyed, it was after much prayer and with a very nervous and trembling heart that I approached them. I wish I could say that every confrontation was met with favorable results; in some cases, the friend denied any wrongdoing and became defensive. As a result, what was once a close friendship grew distant and uneasy.

However, there have been times where the confrontation was met with a genuinely humble response. In those instances, the friendship changed as well, but for the better. Intimacy was fostered. Trust was built. Realizing that I approached them out of godly concern increased their awareness of my love and care for them.

Still, even with good results, confrontation is a nerve-wracking process for me. As much as I hate being on the receiving end of a confrontation, sometimes I think I'd still prefer it to being the initiator. But the Bible extols the virtues of a friend who is willing to "wound" another. The wound is not out of meanness, but out of love.

There are people in our lives who always tell us what we want to hear, who "multiply kisses". Of course we like being around them--but deep down we know that there are times when they are BS-ing us. And as much as I enjoy hearing nice flattering things about myself, I know that what I really need are friends who shoot straight with me. Who aren't afraid to say the things that I need to hear. Friends who will love me enough to wound me when I need it.

God has blessed me through the years with various friends who have been straight shooters. I can't say that I've always appreciated hearing what they had to say at the time they said it. Sometimes it took days, months or even years later before I truly realized the value of what they said. But their wounds have only served to give me a greater love and appreciation for them, as I realize the depth of their love for me.

May you be blessed with friends willing to wound you for your own good, and may you be obedient and faithful in times when God calls you to wound another!