Monday, February 04, 2008

Letting Men Be Gentlemen

This morning I listened to a podcast by Nancy Leigh DeMoss about encouraging men to be gentlemen. Nancy interviewed several ladies, some married and some single, who shared their own experiences of allowing the men in their lives to serve them this way, and the blessings bestowed on both the men and the women as they do so.

I found myself identifying with one of the ladies, who is also single. Like her, I have struggled with accepting help from men at times. It's not that I don't want help. Indeed, I love it when a man shows that he is a gentleman by opening my door or taking a heavy load from my hands. But sometimes it is (in my mind) faster and easier to handle things myself rather than wait on a man to help.

I suppose that's one of the challenges in living as a single woman, especially one who owns her own car and house. I often have to handle things on my own at home--such as loading my suitcase into my car or mowing my grass--so when I leave home and go to work or to church or other places, it's natural to open the door for myself or carry a big box just as I have to do at home. Just today at lunch, one of my male co-workers teased me because I jumped out of the backseat of the car before giving him a chance to open it for me. I am so used to opening my own car door that the thought of him doing it really did not occur to me. But I did graciously wait on him as we returned to the car after lunch and this time I did let him open my car door for me!

I am not one of these women who are determined to do everything on their own, who feel that they don't need any help from men. Believe me, I'd love more help from men! Like I said, it's hard to find that balance of taking care of myself versus letting someone else help take care of me. It's tough being an old-fashioned kind of girl in a modern world.


Donna said...

It don't make it any easier just because I am married...I am used to handling things...I just handle it...

That Girl said...

It's tough being a modern girl in a modern world, too!

Snapshot said...

The whole thing boils down to who you trust in the "leaning" process. I love my old fashioned husband and I'm trying to raise polite old fashioned boys (but it's a challenge). For me, there is nothing like leaning on my hubbie in times when I'm too tired or too confused to lean on myself and even when I'm having trouble leaning on God. Having a devout man of God as the leader of our family helps to bring me back into focus when I need it. Praise GOD He knew me well enough to know I'd need that. Sometimes it's a friend we lean on. That always reminds me of "What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear. What a privaledge to carry, everything to God in prayer." Now that's being a modern girl in a modern world with a modern God who never changes.

Tara said...

I think it goes beyone single or married too. I think we just feel it's easier to do things ourselves, but is that really a Christian attitude? At times, yes.
But we miss opportunities to allow others to use their God-given talents of serving.

I am constnatly reminding myself that if I don't allow fellow Christians to help/serve, I am not allowing them to do their Christian duty. Looking at it that way helps me to accept more help.