Just Say "NO!"

Just today, I was asked to be part of a planning committee for an upcoming event at church. I was flattered. I was excited. I was tempted to say yes.

I said no. And I did not apologize for it.

I’m already heavily involved with our ladies’ ministry team at church, and between that and my upcoming mission trip, I decided that those two ministries would be enough to keep me occupied this year, so I’m limiting my involvement in other ministry areas.

Saying no to ministry opportunities is not easily done, particularly for us women. It is one thing to say no to things that we know are wrong. It is harder, however, to say no to those things that are good, but perhaps not what God wants us to be doing right now. And too often we take on too much responsibility of all these good things that we are too worn out and stretched to do those things that are best, those things that God really wants us to focus our time and talents on.

Of course, this is not a new problem. Way back in the New Testament, Martha earned her reputation as a hard-working, overloaded woman who was too busy getting supper ready to take time to spend at Jesus’ feet.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)

I have a feeling that Martha is far from being the only New Testament woman who tried to do too much. That tendency probably goes all the way back to Eve. And it can be a trap for men as well, although I think that women tend to fall prey to it more often. Martha let her busyness distract her from resting in the company of her Lord, and, sadly, that temptation continues to our generation today.

Saying no, especially to the good things, can be hard to do for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes we say yes out of a sense of obligation or guilt. Sometimes it's because we reason that if we don't do it, no one else will. Sometimes it's because it's an ego boost to feel needed. Sometimes it's because we worry that the person asking us to do whatever will think poorly of us or not like us anymore if we say no.

Saying no does not come naturally to me. But I'm learning to exercise that option more often. The fewer distractions (even good ones) that I have, the better I'm able to concentrate on those ministries and activities that are best. What's best for me may not be what's best for you, and vice versa. We have to trust God to give us the wisdom to choose what is best for each of us,a nd to act accordingly. Saying no, I'm learning, gets easier the more often you say it.