A Time to Heal

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
...a time to kill and a time to heal (Ecclesiastes 3:1,3a)

I've been talking with a friend who is struggling through the loss of a close friendship. It's happened over the past few months, and it bothers her that this friendship still affects her so greatly, especially when the other party in this friendship does not seem to care. We both think that she is better off--but there is still a great sense of hurt and loss.

I myself have struggled the last few years with the loss of a relationship that continues to affect me. It's easy to let myself become frustrated because I still hurt over it and, therefore, feel like I'm not as far along in the healing process as I think I should be. There are times when I wish I could wave a magic wand and the hurt feelings would be gone.

Today I reminded my friend--as I've had to remind myself countless times--that she is experiencing a significant loss, and that she needs to allow time to grieve. Healing is a process, not one that happens overnight, and definitely not one that happens in textbook manner. What brings healing to you may not bring healing to me. What takes you a month to get over may take me a year, or vice versa. We all grieve differently--there is no wrong or right way to grieve, nor is there a timeline to follow.

God has certainly worked on my heart over the years and brought a lot of healing, but I still sense more to be done. As He allows memories to spring up unheeded and pain to come forth unexpectedly, I am trying to keep turning it over to Him, not resisting the pain but rather pressing into it and asking God what He's trying to teach me in the midst of it.

Glorious

God endowed you with a glory when he created you, a glory so deep and mythic that all creation pales in comparison. A glory unique to you, just as your fingerprints are unique to you, just as the way you laugh is unique to you. Somewhere down deep inside we've been looking for that glory ever since. A man wants to know that he is truly a man, that he could be brave; he longs to know that he is a warrior; and all his life he wonders, "Have I got what it takes?" A woman wants to know that she is truly a woman, that she is beautiful; she longs to know that she is captivating; and all her life she wonders, "Do I have a beauty to offer?"...

When you take a second glance in the mirror, when you pause to look again at a photograph, you are looking for a glory you know you were meant to have, if only because you know you long to have it. You remember faintly that you were once more than what you have become. Your story didn't start with sin, and thank God, it does not end with sin. It ends with glory restored: "Those he justified, he also glorified" (Rom. 8:30). And "in the meantime," you have been transformed, and you are being transformed. You've been given a new heart. Now God is restoring your glory. He is bringing you fully alive. Because the glory of God is you fully alive.

--Waking the Dead (pg. 78-79), John Eldredge

In the "Just for Fun" Department

Have some free time on your hands and looking for some truly funny and often bizarre photos to help relieve the boredom? Here are a couple of fun sites to check out (the titles say it all):

-Awkward Family Photos

-Cake Wrecks

The Motions

As I've been contemplating making some changes in my life, Matthew West's latest song, "The Motions", continues to reverberate in my mind. Lately I feel like I've become stagnant in life and I'm not where I want to be. There's definitely a sense of going through the motions in some aspects of my life.

I'm not always a big fan of change, particularly when I'm all settled and cozy where I am. But more and more I'm feeling pulled toward making some rather significant changes, scary and challenging as they might be. Sometimes you reach a point where the risk of staying where you are outweighs the risk of change.

"The Motions"

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the wayI don't wanna go through the motions

Writing

It's been a busy few weeks--a lot of work, some travel, some helping my parents as their house undergoes repairs from the recent flooding. But even in the moments of free time I've had, I've just not felt inspired to write. I know that all writers experience writer's block and experience times of drought and doubt, times of not knowing what to write about or uncertainty that what is on their minds is worth sharing. Still, it's frustrating to go through these times of feeling like I have nothing significant to say.

As a writer, I want my words to be helpful and encouraging. But I'm realizing that that doesn't necessarily mean that they have to be positive. I think that's what sometimes hinders me from writing--I have things to share that I can't just wrap up neatly with a bow and a happy ending, not yet anyway. It's easy to share the victories; it's much harder for me to share the defeats and discouragement.

Last night at our life group we talked about various Biblical figures who inspire us. I shared that David inspires me in particular in the Psalms he wrote, in that he wrote of his doubts and fears and sense of abandonment by God just as often as he wrote of his trust and hope in God to come through for him. He was not afraid to share all of his emotions--the good, the bad and the ugly. Reading his intimate, gut-level honest thoughts inspires me to strive to have that same open communication with God first and foremost, and with others as much as possible. After all, God did not gift me with the ability to write just for myself, but to edify and exhort and encourage others.

So even though I may not always like what I feel compelled to share, I know I need to be willing to share thoughts and experiences--the good, the bad and the ugly--as God prompts me to do so. It's not easy for me to open myself up; it's painful at times. But I think it can be cathartic as well.