Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Reflection and Redirection

I'm off this week (the benefit of taking only one other vacation day the whole year) and since nearly all of my family and friends are working, I'm spending a lot of time alone this week. I've done some post-holiday shopping, a little cleaning around the house, took down all the Christmas decorations last night, did some laundry, etc. No major plans this week except for our extended family Christmas celebration on Friday.

With lots of free time on my hands, I've done some reflecting on 2004. It's been a year of a lot of changes in my personal life. A few friendships have gone through radical changes, one friend got married, a couple of friends moved away. I've been able to travel to some really fun places this year--Las Vegas, Chicago, Mexico. I learned to snorkel. My house survived Hurricane Ivan (for which I'm extremely grateful). I started this blog, which has given me the desire to do more writing.

While a lot of blessings have come my way this year, it's easy for me to get bogged down thinking about the things that didn't work out the way I wanted them to. There are some areas that I feel I've made strides in, then I have some setback that makes me feel like I'm back to square one. I'm finding it hard to let go of some dreams I've had--I continually find myself asking God to unpry my hands from those dreams I'm wrapped around in order to be free to grasp what He wants for me.

As I reflect on this past year, I'm also thinking about the coming year. I'm not big into "New Year's Resolutions"--I never seem to be able to stick to those more than a month or so--but I am a big dreamer. While the calendar's still blank and fresh days lie ahead, it's tempting to make grandiose plans for 2005.

But this year I want to focus more on God's plans for my year. I want Him to direct my path. I want to spend more time asking Him what He wants from me and less time telling Him what I want from Him.

I want to surrender completely to His plans for my life. That's a very scary, and very thrilling, proposition. How different will my life be a year from now? More importantly, how different will my heart be? I'll keep you posted...


Aleah said...

Like you, I have also done some reflecting on 2004. Looking back, I am disappointed at how much time I spent thinking about me, analyzing some things to death, trying to predict God's next move, etc. Not only am I disappointed by my selfishness, I am also tired. I'm ready for a kind of quiet revival (if you can have such a thing!). I'm ready to spend 2005 in the lap of my Father, just being with Him, listening to Him, falling more in love with Him. I've run myself ragged this year explaining all my plans to God and then telling Him how He could work it all out (as if He needs my help!). I'm looking forward to a new year with a different focus.

I'm so glad God has brought our friendship together. I am also looking forward to praying in the New Year with you! It's so refreshing to have friends who desire God so deeply. You inspire me! You feed my hunger for God and keep me on my toes! You have no idea how blessed I am because of you!

Looking forward to an AMAZING 2005 together!! God has big plans for us!

Lisa said...

I'm definitely looking forward to our prayer time tomorrow night--I can't imagine a better way to enter the new year. If I had to pick a theme for 2005, I'd want mine to be "I Surrender All"--every aspect of my life, my physical health, my emotional health, my finances, my relationships, my hopes and dreams, everything surrendered to His will. Like you, I feel like I've wasted a great deal of time in trying to convince God to do other things in my life that are not part of His plan for me. I want this year to be completely different in terms of the peace and joy that I feel due to being submitted to God's will for me. I'm excited that you're desiring the same--it's going to be a great year for both of us!