Friday, January 07, 2005

P.S.

At the beginning of the week, I received an e-mail from my dear friend Shannon, who asked me about my holidays, asking if I wanted to go to lunch this week, etc. At the end she left the following P.S. "God is faithful and he knows the desires of his daughter's heart~ I felt like He wanted me to tell you that....". At the time I was feeling extremely confident and very aware of God's faithfulness, already on a spiritual high. That P.S. just seemed to reinforce God's love towards me.

Well, the week's been very up and down, many really good, wonderful things going on in my life, and some challenges that have come up that have caused some discouragement. I've reread that P.S. several times throughout the week.

I know it was no coincidence that God put that message on Shannon's heart to deliver to me at this time. I have needed reminding that not only does God know my heart's needs, but He also knows my heart's desires. That's always been a bit of a sticking point for me...I trust God to feed me, shelter me, clothe me, meet my basic physical needs, but sometimes I have a harder time trusting Him with my desires as well. It's been good to have those words to reflect on as I've struggled with some weighty emotions this week.

Along the lines of trusting God...I've spent so much time searching for answers to certain questions I have about how my life has unfolded. Maybe wasted so much time is a better way to put it. I always want to know the "why?" behind everything. I think it's time to stop seeking answers and simply seek God's heart. I want complete surrender and obedience to Him without needing an explanation for everything.



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