The Choices We Make

One of the great freedoms that God has given us is the freedom to choose our attitude. We may not be able to choose or to change the circumstance or trial we're going through. We can't handpick the family we're born into. Sometimes we don't get a say in where we live or whether we're healthy or sick, rich or poor. But we CAN choose our attitude.

Today was challenging for me at work. While most of the time I enjoy my job, right now I'm feeling stretched extremely thin. I feel like I don't have enough time to do as thorough a job as I'd like to on certain projects, and that's frustrating. And there's no sign of relief in sight. But I determined that I could either let that frustration ruin my day, or I could suck it up and do the best job that I could do today, and not worry about all the projects waiting for me tomorrow.

A storm blew through my neighborhood yesterday, packing fierce winds that dislodged several branches from my trees. One rather large branch in particular fell on part of my back fence, and will require repair. It's frustrating to have to deal with contacting a fence company, hoping they'll be able to come out to fix in a timely fashion without too much expense, etc. But I can choose to let that frustration get to me, or I can look on the bright side. As my dad pointed out, at least I didn't suffer damage to my roof or a window or my car. Considering how strong those winds were (and how many trees are in my yard), the damage could have been much worse.

There are certain prayers that I've been praying for a long time, years even, and some days I'm tempted to give up on praying them because I'm seeing little or no fruit. Sometimes it seems easier to give up hope when there's no glimmer of hope on the horizon. But I can either choose to give in to that doubt, or I can choose to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, God IS hearing my prayers--and even better, that He is working out plans for my life that are far greater than what I've dared to hope for. I can choose to fix my eyes on what is unseen and trust that He will come through for me.

Keeping a right attitude--one of patience, gratitude, and hope--is far easier said than done. But the less I rely on circumstances to determine my outlook and instead look to the Author and Perfecter of my faith, the better life is.

Deeper Still

This weekend I went to the Deeper Still women's conference in Atlanta with about 25 ladies from my church. The conference was held at Philips Arena, where we were joined by about 20,000 of our closest friends to hear Priscilla Shirer, Kay Arthur and Beth Moore speak. Each of these speakers could have easily packed the house on their own, so it was thrilling to hear not one but all three during the weekend. These ladies certainly have the gifts of preaching and exhortation, and all presented very challenging messages.

Although all three are outstanding speakers, my favorite talk was probably Priscilla's. She spoke about the wilderness experience that the Israelites went through in Exodus, and how God met with them in the wilderness. Some of the points she made that really stood out to me:

-The context in which God speaks to us and shows Himself to us in a new way is often the wilderness.

-You are more protected and safe in the wilderness with God than out of the wilderness without God.

-In the wilderness, God teaches us to depend on Him so that when we arrive in the "Promised Land" we are trusting Him to provide rather than trusting in what the Promised Land has to offer.

So many good thoughts given by Priscilla, as well as by Kay and Beth this weekend! I'm hoping the audio and/or video will soon be available so I can listen to each of them again.

The Yellow Brick Road

I'm reading one of those books that is so chock-full of wisdom I'm tempted to take out a highlighter and mark passage after passage. Since I don't usually like marking in books other than my Bible, however, I'll simply share one particular nugget of wisdom here:

Hidden behind most of our regrets is the myth of the guaranteed right choice--as though if we'd only done it right, the path would have been smooth. There is a yellow brick road, we think, and our job from birth is to find it.

God surely holds the keys to this certain path that we desperately need to find. And when we get there, it should feel like tiptoeing through the tulips--some kind of emotional proof we are on target. The Bible never paints our lives this way, though. If you read the fine print, you notice that guarantees and certainty apply only to the life to come. The here and now is seen through a glass darkly.

The search for guarantees can leave you cautious and tentative about nearly everything--always fearful that your next choice will prove (yet again) to be some kind of mistake you regret. It mutates into the bad habit of worry, a crazy virus if there ever was one, because worry appears to ward off the next set of bad things happening. And so we keep doing it. But really, it just makes you go through life like Steve Martin's character in Father of the Bride, gripping the roller coaster with white knuckles while everyone else enjoys the ride.

I find my own perspective changes when I can let the present be something God is shaping for a future I cannot see--and that something is good because God is good. That may sound simple, but it's truer than thinking I can find the yellow brick road if I'm smart enough. Even in darker moments when I wonder if I have indeed missed God through my own hardheadedness (a genuine possibility), I am comforted by remembering that I belong to Christ--and I cannot, then, be truly lost again. It helps me to stop looking so hard for the certain path and lean the weight of my life on the God who owns them all.

-Paula Rinehart, Better than My Dreams, pps. 94-96

Celebrating Disappointments

From time to time at church we have special services in which people are invited to share their praise and thanksgiving for how God has worked in their lives. We typically hear stories of how God came through in some impossible situation, whether bringing deliverance from some form of addiction, or restoring a broken marriage, or providing physical healing from illness or injury, or providing a job to someone who was jobless. Certainly, these incidents are all reasons to celebrate and praise God, and they can be very encouraging to hear about.


However, sometimes I long to hear testimonies of how God didn't come through in miraculous ways. Strange as that may sound, I think sometimes I relate better to those who have known great disappointment. Please don't get me wrong--I'm not discounting the importance of testifying to God answering prayers. But while it's important to acknowlege the successes that God brings into our lives, I think it's also imporant to acknowlege the disappointments, the situations that did not turn out how we wanted, the prayers that were not answered according to our heart's earnest pleadings.

There is much to be learned from life's disappointments. It is often in these times that I lean most heavily on God. I feel closer to Him in times of brokenness than I do when everything is seemingly going my way. In these times, I learn the true value of having friends and family to lean on. I am reminded that my sense of worth is not wrapped up in my marital status or my career path or how many friends I have.

Disappointments can serve to remind me that life's too short to live in the past, take loved ones for granted, focus too much on work, or take myself too seriously.

In these times I learn to value God for who He is, not for what He does for me.

Disappointments offer opportunities to pull back and look at life from a broader perspective, realizing that God's plans do not revolve around me, but rather remembering that what's happened is ultimately for the good of His kingdom as well as me.

Disappointments are not the result of a lack of faith. In Hebrews 11, aka the Faith Chapter, the writer spends time commending men and women of great faith in the Bible. First, he acknowleges those who experienced extraordinary outcomes:

And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. (Hebrews 11:32-35a)

Now, those are some triumphs to celebrate. But then, the writer offers a sobering reminder that not all the prayers of the saints are answered the way we'd like:

Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. (Hebrews 11:35b-38)

Obviously, life did not turn out how these saints would likely have preferred. And yet, these seeming disappointments were paving the way for greater things:

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. (Hebrews 11:39-40)

We will all, at one point or another, face disappointment and heartache in our lives. Sometimes we may get the chance to understand the reasons why; other times, those reasons may remain a mystery for us, at least as long as we're living on Earth. Regardless, God DOES have a reason for everything that happens--or doesn't happen--to us.

Perhaps one day at church we'll take some time to share not only some disappointments we've faced, but also the lessons that God has taught us through those tough times. And while I look forward to Heaven and spending time hearing firsthand accounts of the lions' den from Daniel and other heroes with amazing tales, I also want to spend time with John the Baptist and Stephen and others who were martyred for their faith. The lessons and perspective that they can teach us are not to be discounted.

The Doorway to Adventure

I want to suggest that it's just these places in your experience--where dreams and expectations don't work out--that you are being issued the invitation of your life. Disappointment is, strangely enough, a doorway to the real adventure. It's the point where you start to leave behind most of your notions of how your story should read--and enter your relationship with God as a journey. A true journey, one that's wild and adventurous and not anywhere close to predictable.

--Better than My Dreams by Paula Rinehart (pg. 16, 17)

Daddy's Little Chocoholic

I've been wanting to change my blog template for a while, and, not having a working knowledge of HTML, I had to go with a pre-designed template that was more or less idiot-proof. After much trial and error, I finally settled on this new chocolate-themed one. I think it's entirely appropriate that I debut this tempting new look on Father's Day, considering that I inherited my chocoholic tendencies from my dear ol' dad.

Of course, a love for all things chocolate (especially dark chocolate) is not the only gift I received from my father. He taught me all about sports, passing on to me a love for basketball in particular. He taught me to shoot free throws on the basketball hoop in our backyard growing up. He also taught my sister and I to play kickball, a sport which he indulged us in playing time after time. We played two-on-one--my sister and I versus my dad--and most of the time we were the victors. (I have a sneaking suspicion that Dad let us win on more than one occasion.)

Another trait I inherited from my father is his quick wit and wicked sense of humor. (Although my mom has a sharp wit herself, so we're a pretty sharp-witted family all around.) My dad loves playing practical jokes on unsuspecting co-workers, and it's not surprising that he passed that joy along to me, much to the chagrin of my victims--er, co-workers.

I'm sure I could think of many more gifts handed down to me or taught to me by my dad over the years, but to sum up, I suppose my dad has taught me a lot about enjoying life. Certainly, he works very hard at his job as well as at home. But he is able to balance that with enjoying family, food, sports, laughter, and other gifts.

I've been blessed to have a father who has always been open about his love for my mom, my sister and I. I've never had any doubt that my dad loves us. It's also been a great blesssing to have a father who is a devoted Christian. His example of a godly husband and father is priceless.

So on this Father's Day, Dad, I say thanks for all the gifts that you've passed on to me. Enjoy your chocolate, cheer on the Celtics, and have a great Father's Day!

Here's Your Sign

Last night on my way to dinner, I was worrying and fretting over a few things--which of course is a waste of time since it's all out of my hands, anyway. As my parents and I walked into the restaurant, one of the first things I saw was a sign posted next to the hostess station that said, "Keep your cool--God is in control." How I love these reminders that God is giving me of His sovereignty!

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
(Psalm 121)

Early Birthday Gifts

My birthday isn't until Sunday, but the celebration got an early start last night when several of my friends joined me for dinner at a favorite restaurant. We had a wonderfully refreshing evening of talking, laughing and catching up with each other.

(One small but powerful example of how God not only knows my needs but the desires of my heart as well--before dinner, I'd had a fleeting thought that I'd like to get some new body scrub for the shower. Now, this was certainly not a need, just something my little feminine heart desired. I figured I'd pick some up next time I went to Target or somewhere. Well, at dinner, one of my precious friends gave me some body scrub that smells amazing! I couldn't help but smile at how tenderly God granted even this small request.)

The best part of the night occurred after dinner. We stood just outside the restaurant, and my friends laid hands on me and took turns praying over me. I imagine we got some interesting looks from people walking and driving by, but I didn't care. I was reminded once again of how graciously God has blessed me with not one but many incredibly special friends who pray for me, laugh with me, cry with me, encourage and support me, and who I can lean on anytime.

God's blessings continued to me today. A co-worker and I had a meeting scheduled in Tuscaloosa today. Since we have a life group break on Sunday, I'd already thought about driving up to Birmingham that afternoon to do a little shopping, although I was a little hesitant to spend the gas money. However, my co-worker decided a couple of days ago that, after our meeting in Tuscaloosa, he would drive to north Alabama to visit his family, so he suggested that we drive separately to Birmingham, park my car there and drive together between Birmingham and T-town.

By the time our meeting was over, it would have been quitting time at work had I gone straight back to Montgomery, so I was able to stay in Birmingham and do my shopping today, without having to spend my own money on gas, since I'll get reimbursed for my work trip. Once again, God provided for me in an unexpected way.

The birthday celebration continues...while gifts are always fun to receive, I'm more encouraged by the ways God is demonstrating His love for me. I know that the love shown by my family and friends at this special time in my life is only a drop in the bucket compared to the love God has for me!

For the Glory of God

Every now and then--to be honest, more like every day--I need a reminder that life isn't about me. It's not about making me happy. It's not about doing what I want to do.

That's not to say that God does not give me plenty of opportunities for happiness, nor does He never let me do what I want to do. But the purpose of my existence is not to squeeze the most happiness and "me-ness" I can get out of life. My purpose is to glorify God.

How soon I forget that. It's all too easy to have a knee-jerk response to everything, to respond to trials or temptations in selfish ways. Yes, it's natural. But I am not a slave to my old natural self. I can choose to respond in a way that glorifies God rather than myself.

When I've been hurt by someone, what response glorifies God more--holding a grudge, or extending grace and forgiveness? When I get handed an unexpected (and unwelcomed) work assignment, which is the greater glorifying response--whining and complaining about it, or accepting it and doing my best? When I do something nice for someone and they fail to thank me, is my reaction one of resentment over their seeming ingratitude, or do I thank God for the opportunity to serve them and not expect anything in return from them?

It's hard to witness to an unholy world when I too am acting in an unholy manner. Being holy means being different, set apart--and yes, sometimes labeled a weirdo by the world for not reacting to circumstances the way that most people would. More and more, I am trying to respond to hurts, trials and other negative circumstances in ways that bring glory to God, remembering that He does not allow anything--bad or good--into my life without a specific purpose that will bring me ultimate good and Him ultimate glory. It's certainly not always easy to keep that in mind, as my selfish nature often rears its ugly head and tempts me to live for me. But I am thankful that I am being transformed day by day into Christlikeness, for the glory of God.

Behind the Silence

I have had such a bad case of writers' block over the past month. I think that part of the problem lies in the fact that so much of my job requires me to be creative, to write and design and think creatively, and by the time I get home I'm often feeling brainfried. It's frustrating because I really love creative writing and sharing what God is teaching me, but lately I feel like I haven't had much to say on this blog. It's not that He's not teaching me, but I don't feel led to share some of the lessons I'm learning just yet.

I've also had a lot on my mind lately, namely thoughts of making some big changes in my life. For the most part I really do enjoy my job, and especially enjoy the people I work with, but I've been contemplating a change in careers--which would most likely bring about a change in cities . Of course, it could be another five or ten years before I move, but I nevertheless feel like God is preparing me to make these changes in the not-too-distant future.

Obviously I've been praying for God's guidance through this contemplation of various life-changing decisions, but I've yet to get a clear answer, which of course means He's not ready to tell me yet. I really wish I knew one way or the other; I don't like this sense of being in limbo regarding the future. I could easily be frustrated by this seeming lack of activity, but I am trying to look at it instead as a period of rest. Nothing God does--including His silence--is without purpose. I think He's wanting me to rest and abide in Him as He prepares to move me (whether physically or just metaphorically) in ways that are thrilling and nervewracking at the same time.

Perhaps soon I will have changes to report, and hopefully I'll soon have more insights to share from God's Word. In the meantime, I'm trying to appreciate the silence and enjoy it while it lasts.