Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Facebook Rules

Dear New Facebook User,

Congratulations on jumping on the social media bandwagon. Like me, I hope that you will find Facebook to be a source of reconnecting with friends and family who may be scattered across the country (or around the world). I hope that you secretly delight in comparing your profile picture to that of your high school and college classmates and think to yourself, "Hey, I don't look so bad." I hope that your friends refrain from posting embarrassing and potentially incriminating photos of you and tagging you in them so that everyone is sure to know it is indeed you in that awkward photo. (Just remember the Golden Rule and be likewise thoughtful in your photo uploading.)

Before you get too far into the process of friending everyone you've ever met and taking pictures everywhere you go so you can show the world that you indeed have a wild and crazy life, let me lay a few ground rules on good Facebook etiquette:

#1. Please do not give in to the compulsion to tell us all what you're having for dinner. It's okay to let us in on your menu selection once in a blue moon, but giving us a dinner update every single night is not kosher. Guess what? Unless you're cooking for us, we don't care.

#2. Please don't overshare. We really don't need to know about your sex life. Or about the fact that your potty-training two year-old didn't make it to the potty in time. Or that you didn't make it to the potty in time. Really, you can pretty much leave any bodily function talk out of the update as far as I'm concerned.

#3. Please don't give cryptic updates that no one understands. For example: "John Doe can't wait for it all to end." Wait for what to end--baseball season? The war in Afghanistan? Your life? Or how about this one: "John Doe needs prayers for something really big going on in my life that I can't talk about." It's not fair to tease us like that. It comes across (to me) as attention-seeking rather than sincere. If you can't share what's going on, maybe you shouldn't mention it at all, at least not in a public setting like Facebook. Share it with your close friends who you can trust with the details.

#4. Please limit your communication with your spouse on Facebook. I don't mind if a spouse wants to say something like, "(Wife) has the greatest husband on Earth!" or vice versa. That's sweet. What's not sweet is when spouses leave gooey lovey-dovey messages on each other's Walls for the world to see. Get a room, people!

4a. Equally annoying is when spouses carry on conversations on each other's Walls that don't affect anyone but them.
Husband: "What's for dinner?"
Wife: "Tacos."
Husband: "Didn't we have that last week?"
Wife: "Yes, but the kids are asking for tacos and ground beef was on sale."

Seriously, can't you just sit down and talk to your spouse (or call or email or text them if they're not in the room at the moment) instead of letting us all share in your marital communications?

These are just a few of my personal pet peeves; I am sure I've annoyed others through my own Facebook activities so take this list with a grain of salt. And feel free to add your own dos and don'ts to the list. Happy Facebooking!

1 comment:

Carrie and David said...

And you wonder why I'm anti-Facebook! : )