Gravity

Most days I get caught up in the ebb and flow of life, getting worked up over the minutiae that can seem overwhelming in the moment but that is, in reality, meaningless.

Some days, however, I really feel the weight of living in a fallen world. Tonight as I was leaving the grocery store I was approached by a young man asking me to buy him some food. Instinctively I said no. I was immediately on guard, as here I was, a woman alone at night in a not very crowded parking lot. I couldn't unload my cart and get into the safe confines of my locked car fast enough as he walked away.

As I left the parking lot I immediately began second guessing my decision. Maybe the guy was harmless. Maybe I should have taken him into the grocery store and bought him some food. Maybe I should have pulled some food out of my grocery bags and given it to him. Maybe I shouldn't have let my desire for my own safety and wellbeing override an opportunity to help someone in need.

On the way home I prayed that that young man would get whatever help he needed--food, shelter, a job, hope, salvation, whatever. I wonder what might have happened if I had helped him. I know that God knows my heart, and He knows that I was caught off guard and unprepared. Maybe I did the right thing. Then again, maybe I needed to be reminded that my life--including my physical self--is not my own; I've been bought with a price, and I need to be in the mindset to respond wherever and however God calls me.

I hate living in a world where I have to be on guard and assume the worst of strangers. On the bright side, how thankful I am for this reminder that this fallen, broken, messed up world is not my true home. Times like this make me feel a little more homesick for the real thing.