Productively Sitting Still

I've been attending a class on spiritual disciplines on Wednesday nights at our church this quarter. In tonight's class we discussed the discipline of meditation. It's an often-overlooked discipline, I think in part because the word "meditation" conjures up images of yogis and Buddhist monks and other mysterious practices. But we learned an important distinction tonight...whereas the world's interpretation of meditation involves emptying one's mind, the Christian interpretation is actually filling one's mind with thoughts of God and His Word.

One of the hindrances in our taking the time to be still and meditate on God is the feeling that we are not being productive, that we are wasting time. I think that we have our view of productivity out of whack.

One of the verses we examined tonight was Psalm 37:7:

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. (NLT)

Look at the second phrase--"wait patiently for him to act." Being still does not equal lack of productivity. Rather, it is allowing God to be productive on our behalf. Sitting still before God and meditating on Him is never wasted time. He can do more with our time than we can.

There have been days where I've felt extremely rushed in the morning, and have skipped my quiet time in order to get my day started. It seems that on those days, no matter how hard I try to catch up, I always lag behind and often end up tired and frustrated. On the days when I do take time to spend in quiet meditation with God, my day actually ends up being more productive, even though technically I am using less time to get things done.

There is, of course, a far greater productivity that results from this meditation--growing in intimacy with God. When I take time to contemplate His Word, to remember what He did thousands of years ago and what He did six years ago and what He did two days ago, I deepen my faith in Him.

Time spent in God's Word and meditating on it is never wasted.

Convicting Statement

Read this today in the Seeking Him study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss:

"Your relationship with Christ will never be any greater than your relationship with His Word!"

Wow, talk about convicting...

Holy Obedience

Holy obedience is the single eye that bathes the entire personality in light. It is the purity of heart that can desire only one thing--the good. It is a God-intoxicated life that can embrace wealth or poverty, hunger or plenty, crucifixion or acclaim with equal ease at the word of Christ...

We must be more precise, more concrete about this matter of holy obedience. Otherwise it will remain forever a pious-sounding theoretical ideal that does not much affect the way we live. Meister Eckhart wrote, "There are plenty to follow our Lord half-way, but not the other half. They will give up possessions, friends, and honors, but it touches them too closely to disown themselves." As we cross over the line and venture into this second half, we find ourselves in the land of holy obedience. To gladly disown ourselves, to live in joyful self-renunciation, is the other half from which we so often draw back. Jesus declared, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). Harsh demand, this self-denial. We would much prefer more comforting words like "self-fulfillment" and "self-actualization." Self-denial conjures up in our minds all sorts of images of groveling and self-hatred. We imagine that it most certainly means self-contempt and will probably lead to various forms of self-mortification.

What we have failed to see is this amazing paradox: true self-fulfillment comes only through self-denial. There is no other way. The most certain way to miss self-fulfillment is to pursue it. "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matt. 10:39).

It is wonderful, this losing of one's self through a perpetual vision of the Holy. We are catapulted into something infinitely larger and more real than our petty existence. A blazing God-consciousness frees us from self-consciousness. It is freedom. It is joy. It is life.

I cannot stress enough how essential this quality is to true simplicity of life. It is the only thing that will allow us to hold the interest of others above self-interest. It saves us from self-pity. It lifts the burden of concern over having a proper image. It frees us from bondage to the opinions of others.

--Freedom of Simplicity by Richard J. Foster, pg. 111-113

Ordered or Surprised?

This week I'm awaiting a package from Amazon. One of the joys of internet shopping, in my opinion, is the ability to track the status of orders. I can go online and see if my order has been shipped, and, once it has left the warehouse, I can track it day by day in its trek across country via UPS or FedEx or USPS. I can track my shipment practically minute by minute en route to my doorstep.

While it's exciting to know that a package (usually filled with new books) is on its way, there's also something to be said for the element of surprise. I love surprises--well, good ones, anyway! (Getting an unexpected card or package in the mail from a friend=good surprise. Getting an unexpected bill or a summons for jury duty=not so good surprise.)

Sometimes I think it would be handy to be able to track the status of our prayer requests. Perhaps it would comfort us to know that at 10:07 a.m., a particular prayer was indeed heard, and at 11:16 a.m. God sent the answer. Then again, it might be maddening if we knew that, while our prayer request was heard, it would be three weeks before it was answered. Or three months. Or three years.

I suppose this falls into the line of questioning about if we knew what the future held, would we be comforted, our fears put at ease? Or would we become even more apprehensive and anxious? I don't know if having a prayer request tracker would be more of a help or a hindrance to our faith.

Some of the best things (and people) that have come into my life have been unexpected, things and relationships that I did not ask for or even knew that I wanted or needed. And some of the best things (and people) that have come into my life have been the direct results of prayers that I've uttered. So it's hard to say what is more enjoyable, being surprised by God, or being reassured of His promises and His attentiveness to our prayers.

Just something to ponder...what are your thoughts on it?

Blessed Captivity

I recently finished reading the book Prisoners of Hope. It's the story of two young American missionaries in Afghanistan who were arrested and imprisoned there for several months, charged with trying to convert a native family from Islam to Christianity.

Ironically, the imprisonment actually answered some of the ladies' prayers, particularly their prayers of being able to connect with Afghani women. They ended up having more freedom and contact with these women in prison than they did outside the prison walls. Despite the crude living quarters and often terrifying events, they believed that God had put them in prison at that time for a reason.

This week in my one-year Bible, I've been reading the story of Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. He too eventually was imprisoned, falsely accused of attempting to rape his master's wife. After being released and elevated to the status of second-in-command over all of Egypt, he ended up saving his family--including his brothers who sold him in the first place--from starvation when famine came. Again, God used extremely negative circumstances for good.

Sometimes the greatest blessings can come when we are put in situations that are not of our choosing. I imagine that very few of us will ever experience life in an actual prison, but we all go through circumstances that seem hopeless. We have to remember that we may have been placed there "for such a time as this", as Mordecai said to Esther. God elevates us to positions of power, and He allows us to be put into humbling positions as well, and He is able to use all circumstances to bring about good. As in the case of Joseph, it may be several years before what are able to connect the dots and see how God is working all things out for our good, but rest assured that He is.

First, the Bad News...

Well, despite fervent prayer and the prayers of some of my friends, I got less than thrilling news from the mechanic today. Turns out my trusty ol' Saturn is sick. Really sick. As in take-apart, dissect-and-repair, and put-back-together-again sick.

Of course, this extreme surgery does not come without a hefty price tag, much more than I would normally consider paying for a ten year-old car. The rub is that without said surgery, my car is not drivable, and therefore of no value to put toward a newer car. So I am going to plunk down the mucho dinero to get my baby back in running order.

In the meantime, I'm going to be researching and shopping in preparation for making a car purchase in a few weeks. And my little month-long experiment of trying to limit purchases to only those that are necessary may turn into a more long-term practice as I adjust to (gulp) having a car payment once again.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't feeling bummed out and a little stressed about the situation. But I am trying to look on the bright side and be thankful. So here's the good news about this car situation:

-I am thankful that my car made it home last night and to the mechanic this morning without breaking down. It sure gave me a scare with all the shuddering going on, but it got where it needed to go nonetheless.

-I am thankful that this happened last night/today rather than tomorrow, when I have to head to a meeting in Birmingham. I would surely hate to have had car trouble on the road, particularly traveling alone.

-I am thankful that my parents live here in town and have a car that they can spare so I have good reliable transportation over the next week as my car gets fixed.

-I am thankful that I have money to pay for the repairs.

-I am thankful that I will be able to cut back on expenses to compensate for a car payment.

-I am thankful to even own a car in the first place. I tend to forget how rich I am compared to most of the world--truly, I have far more than I could ever need.

So even though this is not a pleasant situation, it's by far not the worst I've been through, and I know God will continue to take care of me. I do appreciate your prayers for wisdom in buying a car and adjusting my budget to accomodate payments.

Shake, Rattle and Roll

Nearly ten years ago, I purchased my little gold Saturn. It was my first brand-new car. It's been a good car to me with few major repairs over the years. Over the past couple of years I've been thinking about getting a newer car but have not done any serious shopping for it. Having a car that's paid off has been great incentive to keep driving it and not acquire car payments again.

Last night as I drove home from work, the "Service engine soon" light began flashing. While I noticed it, I wasn't too worried about it as in the past the warning has flashed only to end up being a malfunctioning sensor. Apparently the warning was the real deal last night, however, because shortly thereafter the car began to shake and shudder. It was especially worrisome when idling at red lights--and it seemed like I hit every red light between work and home. Thankfully, God answered my fervent prayers that I'd make it home without the car giving out in the middle of a busy intersection.

After getting some advice from my dad, I added oil to my car, and am taking it in to the mechanic this morning. I'm praying that it's a relatively minor repair and not time to shell out for a newer car. I don't want to be desperate for a new car--I want to do more research, test drive, and not be rushed into this decision.

Last night I was thinking of a passage from Psalm 50 that we discussed this past Sunday in our Sunday school class:

I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. (Psalm 50:9-10)

I suppose that in this case, I could say that the Saturns on a thousand hills belong to God. God was reminding me that, ultimately, my car, my finances, everything I have is from Him and belongs to Him.

This morning in today's passage from my one-year Bible, I read the story of Jesus multiplying the loaves and fishes. From very little He was able to produce abundance, indeed, an overabundance of food. Once again, God was reminding me that He is my Provider.

I can't say that I'm not at all worried about the verdict on my car, but I am feeling more at peace about it. I have a feeling that, regardless of the outcome, I'll be spending some time this week on Edmonds and visiting some car lots this weekend. But I am trusting in God to guide and to provide.

Discerning God's Voice

Last night I was part of a new ladies' Bible study that will be using the workbook Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer as our study material. We watched an introductory video for the study and then spent a few minutes discussing our views on God speaking to us.

I think all of us in the study agreed that God does indeed speak to His people today, but so many times we are not listening. One point that was made in the video is that when God speaks to us, often He's asking us to do something. I wonder if our level of hearing God's voice is related to our willingness to be obedient to what He calls to do...i.e., the more willing we are to obey, the more likely it is that we'll hear Him.

What are your thoughts on this? In what ways does God speak to you? Do you find yourself "hearing" from Him more often when your heart is more tender to being obedient to Him?

No Whining Allowed

At our first staff meeting of the year last week, our boss instituted a "No Whining" policy for our office. When he told me before the meeting that he was going to make 2008 a whine-free year in our office, I cynically wished him luck and wondered how long that policy would last. (I figured it would be violated by lunchtime for sure.)

In presenting this new policy at the staff meeting, he said that if we wanted to whine to him, we could, with this caveat: we had to come with a solution to the complaint.

I know that I am guilty of whining and complaining about circumstances and people, both at work and outside of work, and yet I'm unwilling (or simply don't think about) doing something to bring about positive change. Even in my prayers, I'm quick to ask for God to present a solution, but not always willing for Him to use me as the solution.

So I'm trying to institute a "no whining" policy for myself. More and more, I find myself opening up and being more willing to be used by God in whatever way He sees fit, which, admittedly, is often in ways that I would not have chosen for myself. But I must admit that it is exciting to know that God is using me in some pretty incredible ways that I could not have foreseen. I think that sometimes it is easier to see God move and work when we are willing to let Him work through us.

Anyone want to join in on the "no whining" policy?

God-minded Friends

I am blessed to have a small handful of friends with whom our conversations naturally turn to talk of God and what He's doing in our lives. Certainly, our conversations are not always of God--we cut up and act silly plenty of times--but with these individuals, it seems like at one point or another our visits with each other end up coming back around to spiritual matters. What a blessing.

How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!" (Isaiah 52:7)

Clarification on What's Necessary

I feel the need to clarify my post from earlier this week on purposing to limit spending to necessary items.

First of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with spending money on myself for pleasures (assuming they're not sinful pleasures, of course!). The apostle Paul, in his first letter to Timothy, reminds us that God not only provides our needs, but also provides things for our pleasure:

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (I Tim. 6:17, emphasis mine)

It's not wrong to want or to have things for enjoyment's sake. It is wrong, however, to put our hope in or base our fulfillment on those things.

My purpose in limiting my spending over the next month to "necessities" is not to deprive myself of pleasure, but rather to help me take stock of what I purchase on a regular basis and the reason behind those purchases. Like many women, I enjoy shopping as sport--the thrill of hunting for marked down designer shoes or a great deal on candles or bath towels. Too often, I see shopping as a hobby, and that can often lead to me making impulse purchases and buying things I won't really use, which is not being a good steward of the resources God has given me. So I think that being more thoughtful and purposeful in my spending over the next month will help me in making decisions about my budget and be a better steward.

I anticipate that another benefit from this shopping fast will be that I'll more clearly see God's provision not only for my needs, but for my wants as well. Just today I was given some coffee as a gift--as a java junkie, that is always a much appreciated gift. Yesterday a co-worker treated several of us to lunch. Of course, many of God's gifts are not material in nature, and I have already been blessed in so many of those ways this week as well. There are so many blessings, tangible and intangible, that God wants to provide for us, but so often we go out and get it for ourselves and deprive Him of the pleasure of giving to us.

One more benefit will be improving my patience, a characteristic that I often find myself sorely lacking in. It's tempting to go out and buy what I want, when I want it--then the excitement of my new "toy" fades and I'm hungering for something else. Waiting to buy what I want increases the anticipation, and in some cases, the desire fades until I no longer want it, which proves to me that I would not have really appeciated it if I had received it.

So, those are just some additional thoughts on my little month-long experiment. I'll keep you posted on how the month goes.

Gettin' Happy

Thought this was an interesting article in the Washington Post about what makes us happy. I especially liked the insight that keeping our options open does not necessarily lead to happiness--a radical concept in this age where we're fearful of committing to something or someone out of fear that something/someone better will come along. Thanks to Carolyn at the Radical Womanhood blog for highlighting the article.

What's Necessary?

Yesterday I spent some time writing out several financial goals for the future. Some are specifically for this year, but most are long-term goals. Not only did I write out some goals, but I also wrote down ideas for reaching those goals.

One of my long-term goals is to reduce my spending--much easier said than done! For starters, I've decided to commit the next month (beginning yesterday) to making only necessary purchases.

Of course, that begs the question, What exactly is a necessary purchase? There are certainly some purchases--such as gas for my car, power for my house, groceries, etc.--that are necessary in my book. Some purchases, mainly entertainment-type purchases, are obviously not a necessity.

But there are quite a few gray areas. For instance, I've run out of the cleaning solution for my Swiffer WetJet. Do I really need to buy a refill, or should I use some other cleaner for the next month instead? How about when friends ask me to eat out with them--I of course need to eat, and I'd enjoy the company of my friends, but do I really need to spend money eating out when I could eat what I already have at home?

Really, there are no hard and fast rules on this. What's one person's luxury may be another's necessity. I suppose the bottom line of this experiment is to really get me to carefully consider each purchase before I make it, and to truly weigh its value. I'm hoping that after this month I'll emerge with a more thoughtful attitude toward money and posessions. I have a feeling that I'll discover that some things I really thought I needed are not quite as necessary after all.

Anyone else out there set some financial goals that they wish to share?

Live Simply, Love Deeply

Over the past couple of days I've been kicking around a couple of phrases in my mind: Live simply, love deeply.

While John 10:10 is my self-proclaimed "life verse", I think these phrases will be added words to live by, and I think they are key to living "life to the full".

It's very easy for me to get focused on a complicated lifestyle at the expense of neglecting relationships. I want my relationships--with God, first and foremost, and with family and friends--to be the main focus of my life, and the other stuff of life--work, house, car, finances, etc.--to fall in after that.

Perhaps I will write out "Live simply, love deeply" on a piece of paper and tape it to my computer monitor so I can daily be reminded of these words. I may put in standing orders to have them etched into my tombstone. Maybe I'll have them printed on a t-shirt or, better yet, trademark it and print it on those stretchy rubber bracelets (take that, Lance Armstrong!). Seriously, I find myself being drawn by God to search out ways to simplify my life while strengthening my relationships.

Paring Down

Living simply seems to be a popular concept these days, particularly in a culture such as ours that is bombarded with advertisements and messages telling you to have more, do more, be more. As I've grown older, I've learned more and more the importance of paring down certain areas of my life. A rich, fulfilled life is not based upon how many things I have or even how many friends I have or the number of Bible studies in which I'm involved.

I think that for Christians, learning to pare down in the area of involvement at church is a challenge. Several years ago, when our church had an active singles group, I was very involved in it. I either led, helped plan or participated in various Bible studies, retreats, game nights, birthday parties...you name it, I was there. As I recall, I was also active in other areas at church on top of that. And I quickly learned that too much involvement, even in areas of ministry, can lead to burnout.

For the most part, I enjoyed participating in all those activities. But I am sure that some of the involvement came from a combination of pride in my abilities, and sometimes feeling that I needed to lead a particular activity or ministry because no one else would step up to the plate. No wonder I burned out.

Since then, I've chosen more wisely the number of ministries I participate in each year. I have to admit that for a while, I felt guilty if I didn't sign up for a certain number of ministries. But that was Satan trying to get me to that burned-out, no-good-to-anyone level. Now, before I sign up for ministry opportunities, I try to spend time in prayer about it and seek God's guidance in it. Some years He prompts me to focus on just two or three ministries. Sometimes He leads me to do more. The number really doesn't matter. What matters is seeking the approval of God, not of man.

Jesus knew the value of living simply. He limited the number of apostles He chose, and even among the twelve, he chose a select few to be His closest friends. He withdrew from crowds and distractions to spend time alone with God. He did not even try to heal everyone, and certainly did not try to please everyone. He was focused on doing what God had put Him on Earth to do, and He was not distracted from the Kingdom business.

As I start a new year and begin to fill in the calendar in my day planner, it's a good time to ask God to reveal areas of my life that need simplifying. Perhaps it's spending less time on the Internet and more time studying. Perhaps it's letting some subscriptions expire for magazines that I rarely have time to get around to reading. Maybe it's paring down my wardrobe so that I don't have a daily dilemma about what to wear that day. Maybe it's concentrating the bulk of my time and energies on a few close friendships rather than a dozen casual friendships.

Simplifying is not an easy thing to do. But the fewer distractions in our lives, the more we are able to focus on where God is leading us.

What Went Right

It's natural at the beginning of a new year to look back at the previous year, and I think that we can learn a lot from looking back. However, it's all too easy to get down on ourselves for those areas of life that we wanted to improve upon--finances, health, attitudes, bad habits, personal Bible study, etc.--but that we still find ourselves struggling with come year's end.

I am my own worst critic, and I suspect that many can say the same about themselves. While I'm not making any New Year's resolutions, per se, I do want to make a concerted effort to beat myself up less and recognize more often when I'm making progress in those challenging areas. I don't mean in a prideful, "look-what-I-did" sort of way, but rather, recognizing the work of the Holy Spirit in me to change me.

That does not mean that I don't keep working on those areas of my life. It does mean that I take the time to appreciate progress made in every area of life, even something as mundane as eating all my sushi with chopsticks without dropping any food, as I did at lunch the other day. (I have to say, I was quite excited about that, as I'm usually a messy eater and I usually use a fork to eat my sushi!)

Let me encourage you to take time to acknowlege even those little triumphs in your life. Lose that "all or nothing" mentality. I have to admit that that is something I've struggled with quite a bit.

Say your goal is to spend an hour each day in Bible study, but so far you can only muster your attention span for 15 minutes. Rather than be discouraged about not reaching an hour yet and giving up study time altogether, celebrate those 15 minutes and spend the time fully concentrated on God's Word. Trust that, over time, God will expand your thirst for time spent with Him.

I believe that God usually changes us little by little, moment by moment, rather than all in one fell swoop. We're most likely not going to lie down to sleep at night and wake up the next day with our bad attitudes gone like magic. If you're stuggling to see progress in your life, ask God to reveal to you the ways that He is at work in you.

Loving from a Distance

"I do believe there are breaking points in a relationship, and when one of those breaking points occurs, it may no longer be advisable to stick around. Acceptance is not the same as love, so limiting one's acceptance of someone is not the same as loving with conditions. I may ultimately need to put distance between myself and someone whose behavior is unacceptable to me. That distance does not have to mean I no longer love that person unconditionally. It may simply mean it is not healthy for me to be in close proximity to him or her. It is possible to love the person but refuse his or her behavior. It is also possible to love that person but never see him or her again." (Free Inside and Out, Marilyn Meberg and Luci Swindoll)

All Powerful God

"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." (Jeremiah 32:17)

Praise Despite

Last night I was jotting some goals for 2008 in my journal. I don't necessarily make New Year's resolutions, but rather try to set some concrete goals to work toward. These are goals that I feel that God has put on my heart for this particular time.

After writing down one of the goals, I started wondering how on earth I'd accomplish this goal. By all outward appearances, if the status quo remains, that particular goal seems unattainable. But of course, I was too busy focusing on how I could make things happen rather than on what God can do!

As I was pondering this goal, the following verses from Habakkuk came to me:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Habakkuk 3:17-18, emphasis mine)

I've read these verses several times over the past few weeks, and my thoughts keep returning to them. I love the attitude that Habakkuk displays, that despite troubles surrounding him, he rejoices in the Lord. His outlook is not determined by how much food he can harvest or how much livestock is in the barns. His outlook is based on knowing that God is his Savior, and that He will rescue him.

While I feel that 2007 was a landmark year for me in learning more about God's sovereignty and depending on Him more than ever before, I still have far to go. I'm realizing that I can't accomplish any of my goals without leaning on God. And I don't have to wait for my goals to be met before rejoicing in what He's doing. Even when I can't see the fruit of His work, that doesn't mean that God is not working. I want to focus on praising Him every day, no matter what the circumstances are.