Book Review: The Sacred Meal

Although I've taken communion just about every Sunday for the past twenty-plus years, I confess that many times I've taken it without giving it much thought. Growing up in churches where, traditionally, one received communion silently while staring at the back of the head of the person in front of you, there didn't seem to be a lot of communing going on. Sometimes this sacred act can actually seem mundane. That is not how it is meant to be.

That's why I was eager to read Nora Gallagher's book, The Sacred Meal. Gallagher examines this ancient ritual from a modern perspective, shedding light on what the eucharist means not only to the church as a whole but to Gallagher personally. She includes many anecdotes--some amusing, some touching, some bittersweet--from her experiences with communion. More than just about eating and drinking, communion is about community with fellow believers. It's about a connection with Christ and a connection with those around us.

For someone like me who has taken communion hundreds of times and yet often struggles to appreciate the sacredness of the practice, this book was eye-opening. It gave me a greater realization of the value of partaking in communion and what it means to be part of the body of Christ.

First Coming

A couple of weeks ago I joined friends for an Advent celebration. I was asked to bring an Advent poem to share with the group, and the following poem is the one I read. As we celebrate the Advent of Christ and anticipate His return, may you rejoice and be encouraged. Merry Christmas!

"First Coming"
by Madeleine L’Engle

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great.
He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

In Good Hands

With work slowing down a bit this week before Christmas, I took advantage of the downtime today to wade through my work emails and delete as many as I could. I managed to whittle my inbox down from 1,200+ emails to around 300 and deleted another thousand or so sent messages.

While keeping my fingers crossed that I wasn't deleting any crucial emails, I was excited to come across several devotional emails that various friends had sent me over the past couple of years. The following one was one of the favorites that I read today, and I thought I would share it here. There's no telling how many people need to be reminded that we are in God's hands and that He has everything under control.

ISAIAH 63:16 You, O Lord, are our Father; Our Redeemer from Everlasting.

If I am willing to be still in my Master's hand, can I not be still in everything? He's got the whole world in His hands! Never mind whether things come from God Himself or from people--everything comes by His ordination or permission. If I mean to be obedient and submissive to the Lord because He is my Lord, I must not forget that whatever He allows to happen becomes, for me, His will at that moment.
--Elisabeth Elliot (Keep A Quiet Heart)

Do You See What I See?

Most of us, I would venture to guess, do not always like what we see when we look at ourselves in the mirror. It is all too common to immediately begin zeroing in on those features that we don't like or that we think don't measure up to whatever standards we have in our heads. It's not just our physical characteristics that get picked apart; those unseen inner qualities get the harsh review too.

That is why we need friends around us who can show us another, clearer picture. It is a beautiful thing when friends mirror back to us our true selves. Not the selves we think we are--the messed up, selfish, failure-ridden selves that we envision, but our REAL selves. The selves that we are now--the beautiful, creative, generous selves.

And, perhaps even more importantly, they mirror back to us the selves that we could be, the selves that we were created by God to be. True friends point out our potential, even though--get this--they know our flaws. Despite that, they see beauty and splendor in us. There is a real joy in having friends like that who see what we are, quite often, unable to see for ourselves, and who unveil this picture to us.

We all need friends like that. Do you have friends who mirror your true self back to you? And are you being someone else's mirror now?

O Holy Night

At approximately 5:07 p.m. tonight, I finished my Christmas shopping.

(Please don't hate me.)

I still have some homemade gifts to make for select friends and family, but those should be completed over the weekend. With Christmas just over a week away, I'm breathing a sigh of relief that I can avoid wasting half a tank of gas circling the parking lot at Target or Walmart trying to find a parking space, nearly getting mowed down by crazed shoppers driving unwieldy shopping carts, and growing moss while standing in the checkout line.

(Seriously, please don't hate me.)

I don't mean to antagonize any readers who may still be a few gifts shy of completing their shopping lists. It's just that I'm delighted to be finished this early and to be able to truly relax and enjoy this time leading up to Christmas day.

This December has provided me with many wonderful reminders of how special Christmas is. I think my favorite event so far was an Advent celebration hosted by some friends earlier this week. They invited a large group of us over to eat, sing, and reflect on Christ's birth. We also shared our own favorite Christmas memories--many funny, some bittersweet, and a few good blackmail-worthy stories that we were sworn to secrecy on.

We were a diverse group--some married, some single, some older, some younger, some just starting their families, some empty nesters. Although we come from different backgrounds and experiences, we were united in our celebration of Jesus' birth. That time of fellowship was so sweet and special; if we met every week from now on I don't think I'd tire of it. For me it was a little foretaste of Heaven--great food, beautiful singing, awesome fellowship, and Christ at the center of it all.

Whether you're like me and have finished your Christmas shopping or you're just getting started, I hope that you are able to slow down and really experience the true meaning of Christmas. The Christmas story is most glorious when it's shared with others, so don't pass up opportunties that come your way to spend it with family and friends this season.

Breaking the Silence

Our Sunday school class just began a quarter-long study of the book of Exodus. It's not exactly the section of Scripture that typically comes to mind when I think about the Advent season, but this morning I was struck by a parallel between Moses and Jesus' birth that I had not previously considered.

When God approached Moses via the burning bush, it was during a time of suffering for Israel. They had become enslaved in Egypt, and were treated cruelly by the slave drivers. Even worse, Pharaoh, fearing an uprising from the growing Hebrew population, decreed that all male Hebrew babies be thrown into the Nile. Although Moses survived and was actually adopted into Pharaoh's family, he later had to flee Egypt for the wilderness of Midian after killing an Egyptian.

Meanwhile, back in Egypt the Israelites continued to face greater and greater oppression. We discussed in class this morning the range of emotions that the Israelites may have been feeling at that time--abandonment, neglect, fear. I imagine that many of them felt that God was silent, perhaps not giving any thought to their suffering.

On the contrary, God was not silent for long. He had not only heard the Israelites' groaning for deliverance, but He came to rescue them through an unlikely shepherd. As He told Moses in Exodus 3:9-10: "The cries of the people of Israel have reached me, and I have seen how the Egyptians have oppressed them with heavy taks. Now go, for I am sending you to Pharoah. You will lead my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt."

Now, skip ahead to the time of Jesus' birth. Several hundred years lapse between the book of Malachi, ending the Old Testament, and the book of Matthew, the beginning of the New Testament. These have been years of silence from God. Years of oppression for His people. Years of suffering and crying out for deliverance.

Yet again, God chooses an unlikely hero to send as a rescuer--this time, His own Son in the form of a baby. As I thought about the similarities of these stories this morning, the song "Silent Night" sprang to mind. I've always thought of the silence in the song as coming in the wake of Jesus' birth, a peaceful, quiet night. Now, though, I'm thinking that Jesus did not bring silence with Him, but rather broke the silence with His first cries. After many years of silence, God's people were desperate for a word from Him. They longed for some sign of deliverance, some sign that God had not, despite all outward appearances, forgotten His people.

A child's first cry is often music to their parents' ears, and I'm sure that was the case for Joseph and Mary at Jesus' birth. But I wonder if they had a greater sense of the silence that was broken then, and that would forever change the world.

Camp Stew Recipe, Revisited

Most of my blog entries are about spiritual matters, but surprisingly enough one of my most-viewed entries is the recipe I posted a couple of years ago for camp stew. I'm a sucker for just about any recipe with "easy" in the title; throw in "crockpot" as well and I'm sold.

Now, some may argue that it's cheating to use all canned ingredients, but I would argue that you just have to look at the title to figure out that this is a version better suited for someone who may not have a lot of time on their hands but who nevertheless has a craving for some stick-to-your-ribs goodness.

If you can master the art of wielding a can opener, dumping out the contents into a crockpot and turning said crockpot on, then you can handle this recipe. Best of all, because all of the ingredients are canned, you can keep them in the pantry until the mood strikes; I highly recommend making it on a cold, rainy, blustery day. There's nothing like coming home to the scent of camp stew wafting through your house and the joy of knowing that your dinner is already made, woo hoo!

Easy Crockpot Camp Stew

Ingredients:
-1 can crushed tomatoes
-1 can creamed corn
-1 can each of barbecue pork, chicken and beef (I use Castleberry's brand)
-1 can potatoes
-1 can beans (I usually use pinto or ranch beans)

Combine all in crock pot and simmer on low 6-8 hours.

Voila! (See, I told you it was easy.)

For more recipes, visit The Grocery Cart Challenge's recipe swap.

More on Giving Up

I'm nearly finished reading John Eldredge's book, The Journey of Desire. In it, he expresses far more eloquently than I can the thoughts and feelings I've experienced lately in my surrendering certain desires over to God. This passage that I read today fits right in with my post from earlier in the week on giving up a particular desire to Him:

"Spiritual surrender is not resignation. It is not choosing to care no longer. Nor is it Eastern mysticism, an attempt to get beyond the suffering of this life by going completely numb. As my dear friend Jan describes, 'It is surrender with desire, or in desire.' Desire is still present, felt, welcomed even. But the will to secure is made subject to the divine will in an act of abandonment...

"True surrender is not an easy out, calling it quits early in the game. This kind of surrender comes only after the night of wrestling. It comes only after we open our hearts to care deeply. Then we choose to surrender, or give over, our deepest desires to God. And with them we give over our hearts, our deepest selves. The freedom and beauty and rest that follow are among the greatest of all surprises." (The Journey of Desire, pgs. 193 & 194)

Christmas Memory Monday

A while back I reconnected with an old classmate of mine, Tara, who has a blog of her own, Murphree's Law. Tara has designated Mondays in December as Christmas Memory Monday, and using that day's post to document some favorite childhood Christmas memories. She invited her fellow bloggers to join the fun, so today I'm sharing one of my own memories.

Our family has always enjoyed traveling, and whether we were vacationing at the beach or in Washington, D.C. or Disney World or somewhere in between, part of our vacation perennially involved a search for a Christmas ornament to commemorate our trip. It's a special (and usually fairly inexpensive) way to "extend" the vacation, and whenever we put up the Christmas tree and took out the ornaments we'd be filled with memories from our vacations.

The practice has been passed on to me, and now whenever I travel I try to find the perfect ornament to help me remember my trip. Those ornaments are probably my favorite souvenirs to get when I travel, and they always bring back a lot of great memories when I unpack them and hang them on the Christmas tree.

Click here to visit Tara's blog and read about some of her favorite Christmas memories, and feel free to post your own either in the comment section or on your own blog.

Giving Up

Giving up is not something I do easily or happily. It's tough to give up the illusion that I am in control (although deep down I know that I'm truly not in control at all). Holding on to the idea of being able to control things is a bit of a security blanket.

But I have to admit that true peace only comes when I throw up my hands and let go of whatever is that I'm desperately trying to control. Most recently, I've had to give up hopes of a reconciliation with a particular friend. I've prayed many times about it, asking God to restore our friendship, but a couple of weeks ago I had a heart to heart talk with myself and acknowleged that I was trying to initiate a reconciliation instead of leaving it fully in God's hands.

What He intends to do with this friendship, I don't know. I miss this friend very much and my heart still longs for restoration. Perhaps God will restore the friendship in the coming months, or in years to come. Then again, perhaps our friendship has ended its run here on Earth. I cling to the hope that, even if we don't speak again in this lifetime, our friendship will be made perfect and whole in Heaven, and that it will finally be all that God intended it to be.

I'm not giving up on the hope that God will bring about reconciliation with this friend. Rather, I'm giving up on my attempts to bring about that reconciliation myself. We are all master manipulators, even with the best of the intentions. I am so good at convincing myself that God needs my help, which, let's face it, is absolute bunk.

Taking a hands-off approach to this and to other situations is necessary to learn true dependence on God. Trying to second-guess Him and make things "happen" only makes things worse, in my experience, so I'm trying to do less and less of that. It's not easy to give up; for me it's a day-by-day struggle rather than an all-at-once act. But I can definitely feel a greater sense of peace as I give these things over to God. Sometimes what we gain is greater than what we give up.

Christmas Gifts for Readers

As I've mentioned, oh, a hundred or so times before, I am an avid reader. My nightstand perenially has a stack of books sitting on it waiting to be read (or, in some cases, in the process of being read; I have a bad habit of reading multiple books at once). And like just about everyone else on the planet these days, I've been looking for ways to get new reading material for very cheap.

If you're in need of inexpensive Christmas presents for the bookworm in your life, here are a couple of suggestions:

-PaperbackSwap.com. As I've said in a previous post, this has replaced my beloved Amazon as my go-to place for books. They have a great variety of gently used books in every genre imaginable, all in good condition, and all you pay for is shipping.

-Amazon is currently running its Black Friday magazine sale, with year-long magazine subscriptions selling at just $5 each. The titles available include Cosmopolitan, Food & Wine, House Beautiful, PEOPLE StyleWatch, Popular Science, Real Simple, Smart Money, Sports Illustrated Kids, Southern Living, and Travel + Leisure. This is a great way to give a gift that keeps on giving year-round. Note, however, that the sale ends on December 1.

Happy reading!

In the Meantime...

I love to read the Bible, especially those books that are chock-filled with encouragement and hope. Some books are easier to swallow than others. To be honest, Numbers is just not one of my favorite books. Revelation is not a breeze to read and understand. Although I realize that every word in Scripture is there on purpose and there's something to glean from every book, I have to admit that there are some books that I lean more towards than others. However, sometimes I do feel prompted to read a book that's not the easiest or most encouraging to read.

For example, lately I've felt compelled to read the book of Jeremiah. And Jeremiah is--well, it's not a fun read. It's the story of Jeremiah urging the people of Judah to repent of their idolatry and wickedness or else face captivity by Babylon as their punishment.

Eventually, the people of Judah were taken into captivity for seventy years by the Babylonians. In chapter 29, Jeremiah sends a letter to the exiles, which includes these instructions:

The Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, sends this message to all the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem: "Build houses, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food you produce. Marry, and have children. Then find spouses for them, and have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of Babylon. Pray to the Lord for that city where you are held captive, for if Babylon has peace, so will you." (Jeremiah 29:4-7)

I find it encouraging (and convicting) that God expected His people to be fruitful no matter where they were. Even though their exile was a result of their own stubborn refusal to turn from their sins, He still intended to bless them through it.

It's easy for me to make excuses for being unproductive because I may be in a place that I don't want to be or things may not be going as I would want them to go. That doesn't excuse me from being productive for God. Regardless of where I am, God continues to give me the resources to bear fruit in His name. Especially in situations that I don't like, I want to stop making excuses and let God work through me. Sometimes seeing that fruit can make difficult situations much more bearable and give hope that better days are ahead.

Book Review: From Peanuts to the Pressbox

(Note: While in college I was fortunate to have several internships, one of them taking place in the book publicity department for Thomas Nelson Publishers. For a book lover like myself who planned to enter the world of public relations and communications, it was a match made in heaven. Fast forward lo these many years later, and I've become a blogger reviewer for Thomas Nelson. From time to time I'll be posting reviews of books that they send me to read. Again, a match made in heaven.)

As an Alabama football fan, Eli Gold is for me synonymous with Tide football. It’s just not a game day without hearing his voice on the radio calling plays. Until I read his latest autobiography, From Peanuts to the Pressbox, however, I was unfamiliar with his radio broadcast adventures aside from college football Saturdays.

The book quickly remedied that with tales of Gold’s journey from a Brooklyn-born kid selling peanuts at Madison Square Garden to a leader in the sports broadcasting world. He serves up anecdotes from his long history in broadcasting, beginning with his first big break providing hockey play-by-play action for the Long Island Ducks. Gold has since gone on to more high profile gigs, including NASCAR, arena football, the NHL, the NFL, CBS and NBC Sports, and, most notably to this Bama fan, serving as the Voice of the Crimson Tide.

The book is filled with behind-the-scenes stories from arenas, racetracks and football fields around the country, many funny, some (such as the deaths of several NASCAR racers) sobering. Although the Bama fan in me would have preferred more stories about Alabama football, overall I enjoyed reading about Gold’s experiences inside and outside of the broadcasting booth.

Uprooted

I wonder if Abraham was ready to leave his homeland when God told him to go in Genesis 12. There's no indication that Abraham hesitated when instructed by God to pack up his family and belongings and to launch out on a journey to an unknown place. Perhaps he did waiver in his faith a bit; perhaps he really wrestled with the thought of leaving the place he was familiar with, comfortable with, the place that, for better or for worse, was his home.

Then again, maybe Abraham was ready to be uprooted, ready for whatever adventure God had planned for him. Maybe he had grown tired of the familiar landscape and was itching for some change in his life.

I am hopeful that one day in Heaven I'll be able to sit down and talk with Abraham and find out how he felt when God told him to go to a place where God would eventually show him. Was he excited? Scared? Ready for a new chapter in his life? Wary? Perhaps all of the above.

For a while now I've felt a desire for some changes in my life. I'm not sure if that's God preparing me to be uprooted and thrown into a new chapter, or if I'm just itching for change. I have a feeling it's more of the former. I think that God tends to do some prep work on us before asking us to follow Him to a new place. So perhaps this desire for change is a precursor to some changes ahead. Time will tell. When God DOES call me to move (whether to a new city, a new job, a new church, or making some other changes in my life), I want to show the same sort of faith that Abraham exhibited in picking up and following where God led him.

WFMW: PaperBackSwap.com

For as long as I can remember I've been a reader. As a child I spent countless hours at our local libraries. As an adult, I still frequent the library from time to time, but the selection is not always the greatest, and there are certain books that I want to keep permanently. For a long time I purchased my books from Amazon, where the price is usually far better than what I can get at a storefront. However, given my infinite love of books mixed with my finite financial resources, buying books on a continual basis is just not feasible considering that there are other things I like to do with my paycheck. Eating, for example.

So when a friend introduced me to Paperbackswap.com a few months ago, it was love at first sight. Here's how it works, in a nutshell:

-After setting up your account (quick and painless), you post a minimum of 10 "gently used" books (i.e., no highlighting or underlining) that you no longer want in order to get your starter book credits.

-When another member requests a book from you, just print out the mailing label and send it to them. You pay for shipping (which Paperbackswap.com calculates for you, normally at the low media mail rate).

-Every time you send a book to a member, you get a credit to use toward ordering another book. The books are free--your only cost is postage for the books you mail out.

-Use the credits to order books that you that other members have posted. (Books are one credit each; audiobooks take two credits each.)


What I like about it:

1. There's a huge selection of books in pretty much every genre you can imagine. And don't let the name fool you--it's not just paperback books; you can also swap hardbacks and audiobooks. (By the way, there are also sister sites for swapping CDs and DVDs.)

2. The cost to send out books is minimal--postage usually runs around $2-$3 per book, depending on the book's size and weight. If, like me, you want to avoid standing in line at the post office, you can pay a slight fee to print the postage yourself and mail books directly from your home.

3. It's a great way to get rid of books that you no longer want, as well as to acquire books that you've been wanting to read.

4. I can enjoy newer books that my local library doesn't carry at a fraction of the cost of getting them from a bookstore or from Amazon.


Getting great used books for way cheap? PaperBackswap.com works for a bookworm like me.

For more money and time-saving tips, visit the Works for Me Wednesday blog carnival at We Are That Family.

Psalm 25:4,5

Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD;
point out the right road for me to follow.

Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.

Teach Us to Pray

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples." (Luke 11:1)

One of the greatest lessons I've had in life is learning how to pray. I think that most people (even non-Christians) have an instinct to utter a "Help me, God" when something goes wrong, but that does not imply intimacy. For me, learning how to develop a meaningful prayer life has been key to fostering an intimate relationship with God.

I'm so thankful that God has provided so many people along the way to teach me to pray:

• My parents taught me to pray consistently.
• Aleah taught me to pray words of praise and adoration.
• Paul taught me to pray "big" prayers.
• Susan taught me to pray honestly and to share my hurts and struggles with God.
• Jon taught me to pray expectantly, thanking God in advance for the things He was going to do.
• Heather taught me to pray as if Jesus was just sitting in the chair right next to me.
• Toni taught me to pray reverently.
• Karla taught me to pray with an eye on eternity, keeping in mind the perspective that there is a greater, eternal life to come.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. All of these people--and the other prayer warriors that God has brought into my life at different points--have set examples for me as to how to communicate with God in real ways.

That intimacy was what the disciples saw in Jesus' own prayer life, and what they were seeking when they asked Him to teach them to pray.

He said to them, "When you pray, say: " 'Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.' " (Luke 11:2-4)

Although brief, this prayer, commonly known as the Lord's Prayer, points to so many of the prayer lessons that I myself have learned. In this prayer, Jesus modeled reverence for the Father, acknowlegment of kingdom businsess being done on Earth, daily dependence on God, and the need for forgiveness, protection and wisdom. This prayer is just as relevant in our lives today as it was in the disciples' lives two thousand years ago.

It's a great blessing to have so many people demonstrate to me these characteristics in their own prayer life. How about you--who taught you to pray, and what did they teach you? What have you learned about prayer that you are trying to pass on to someone else?

Is Anything Too Hard for the Lord?

Lately I've been studying the story of Abraham and his incredible journey with God. One of the things I love about the Bible is that the people in it are shown as they really were--human, flawed, sinful, doubting at times, and yet also passionately pursued and wooed by a God who loved them. Abraham had a very intimate friendship with God, but he also wrestled with trusting God to fulfill His promises to him. Oh, how I can relate.

This morning I read the story of the Lord coming to Abraham in Genesis 18 to tell him that in a year, Abraham's wife Sarah would bear him a son. At the time, Abraham was 99 years old, and Sarah not far behind, so I really can't blame Sarah for laughing to herself at the thought of shopping for maternity wear at her age. Even though I've read the story many times before, this particular passage struck me today:

Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the LORD ? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." (Genesis 18:13-14)

I especially love the question asked, "Is anything too hard for the LORD?" It's a question that I needed to be reminded of, because there are times when I really wrestle with whether or not God is going to come through for me. There are certain situations that I've been praying about for months and years and I find it to be almost a daily struggle to keep turning those situations over to God rather than try to work things out on my own. Intellectually, I know that nothing is too difficult for God. Emotionally, however, I sometimes wonder if God's ever going to act in these circumstances.

I don't know what area of your life that you're waiting on God for--a relationship struggle, a job difficulty, financial troubles, family issues--but maybe someone else besides just me needs the reminder right now that nothing is too hard for Him. Even when we are faithless, He is faithful. Amen.

Making Room

Several years ago I made a deal with myself that, being the clothes horse that I am, whenever I buy new clothes I have to give some of my old clothes away. This helps me keep my closet in halfway-decent shape and prevents me from having a total meltdown because of too many choices of what to wear. It also forces me to rid my closet of clothes that I haven't worn in a long time.

Deciding which clothes get the heave-ho is sometime difficult. Sentimentality can play a large role in determining which items make the cut. For instance, I have a couple of sweatshirts from my college days that are ratty and oversized and don't ever get to leave the house. But I keep them anyway because they remind me of my days working in the sports information office and going to ballgames and what a blast I had.

There are a variety of reasons that I no longer wear some of my clothes. Some of them are too big for me (yay!). Others are (ahem) a little on the tight side. (Must have shrunk in the wash.) And then there are some that are just out of style. In a few cases, the clothes never were a great fit for me, the cut or color didn't flatter me, and I should have left them on the sales rack to begin with.

As I think about getting rid of some old clothes to make room for new, I'm also thinking about the friendships and relationships that I've experienced over the years. Some have become what I consider classic friendships--like that perfect black pair of pants or white button down shirt that never go out of style. I may go through phases where I'm closer to those friends than at other times, but I know they'll always be part of my life in one way or another.

Then there are some friendships that ran their course and ended gradually. These are friendships that no longer fit where I am in life. That doesn't mean that there was anything wrong with those particular friends; it's just that our friendship was only meant to last a season, and that season has passed. Those can be difficult friendships to let go of, even though I know we no longer fit as well as we once did.

When you've invested time and energy and emotion in a friendship and it seems to have transitioned into a more casual friendship (or, in some cases, a nonexistent one altogether), it's hard to admit. But I'm realizing that sometimes I have to make room and let some friends go in order to allow God to bring new friends into my life. And who knows, God may choose to bring those old friends back into my life at some point down the line. Or He may have an even deeper, better fitting friendship in store for me. Day by day, I'm learning to trust Him to know which people I need in my life at that particular moment. He truly knows what fits me best.

Enough

Am I the only one who struggles with an identity crisis from time to time? Something tells me I'm not, but for the sake of those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, let me enlighten you a bit. I'm normally a laidback, go with the flow, optimistic, cheerful person. But once in a while, doubt and insecurity rear their ugly heads. I begin to question the reason for my existence. I wonder if my friends really like me. I suspect that I am way off track in reaching the purpose that God has for me being here and that I'm just wasting my life.

(Can I get a witness?)

It's even harder when I run into people, whether in real life or on Facebook or email, who seem to be leading adventuresome lives filled with families and great job opportunities and travel and ministry. When they ask what's new with me, I usually can't think of anything equally exciting to share. Discovering a great new restaurant or new laundry detergent, while nerdily thrilling to me, just does not seem all that glamorous in comparsion.

At times like this, it's tempting to start playing the "more" game. If only I were more [fill in the blank]. More talented. More disciplined. More athletic. More generous. More stylish. More patient. More careful with my finances. More motivated. More committed to reading my Bible.

I think you get the point.

The problem with the "more" game is that "more" is not really enough. The thing is, I can keep piling on "more" of everything--including more guilt that I haven't done "more" with my life--and that still won't solve my identity crisis. It's at times like these when I have to be reminded that I am already enough. Not because of anything I've done--but because God has told me that I'm enough.

Over the past couple of years, whenever I've started fretting over my future and try to figure things out and how I can be "more" of whatever it is I think I need to be more of, I've sensed God whispering to me, "Cease striving." That refrain has echoed in my head time after time, reminding me that it's not up to me to make things happen. I'm to ask, seek, knock--and wait for God to answer.

Just last night I was in one of those "more" moods. As I turned in for the night and picked up the book I'm currently reading, I immediately came across this little gem: "Stop striving to be more and appreciate what it is you already are." How thoughtful of God to plunk that sentence down in front of me at just the right time. I laughed. I am enough.

Favorite Things

It's true that some of the best things in life are free. In a time where everyone is cutting back on expenses where they can, I thought I'd reflect on some of my favorite things that cost very little (at least monetarily; they may cost some time and effort). Here's a quick list, in no particular order:

-A bed with freshly laundered sheets
-A great cup of coffee
-Homegrown tomatoes
-Watching SEC football--especially Alabama football
-Leaves changing color in the fall
-Baby giggles
-A Saturday with no set plans, where I don't have to be anywhere at any particular time
-Coming home to a crockpot percolating with some yummy soup or stew
-Taking a nap on a rainy Sunday afternoon
-Getting a really good scalp massage from the shampoo girl at the salon
-Hearing the crack of a bat at a baseball game
-Diving into a new book

What would you add to the list?

Little Mercies

It's taken many years but I've finally learned that God doesn't grant us grace and peace and joy and other blessings in one big lump payment, but rather doles them out day by day--sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute--as we need them. While I like it when He shows up in a great big miraculous way, in some ways I get even more encouragement in the seemingly little things that He does for me. Perhaps those little acts remind me that no part of my life is insignificant in His eyes.

Take today, for instance. I woke up in a funk. I've been wrestling with my identity, with what I am meant to be doing with my life, and where I'm meant to be, figuratively as well as geographically speaking, and this wrestling and uncertainty is taking a toll on me. I needed some encouragement, yet I'm not the best about asking for it.

Midway through my day, I received an unexpected email from an acquaintance who I only see and email with a few times a year. She is a very dear, sweet person who I always enjoy visiting with, but we're not close friends and she doesn't know what I've been wrestling with lately. In her email, she said that she was thinking of me today and praying that I'd be filled with peace and joy. There was no question in my mind that God put me on her mind today and prompted her to pray for me and to email me.

Once again, I was reminded of how infinitely perfect God's timing and ways truly are. Little by little, day by day, He is strengthening my faith in Him and teaching me to trust Him with ALL areas of my life--the really big areas as well as the seemingly mundane areas. Sometimes it's these little moments that help get me through the day.

My Writing

I have a bad habit of doubting and second-guessing myself. That's true of deciding what to wear, what color to paint my bedroom, and especially true of my writing. I could easily sit down and type whatever pops into my head at that particular moment. But would it make sense? Would it be worthy of being read? Would you--those of you who know me in person and those who only know me through this blog--view me differently if you really knew what was rattling around inside my head?

You see, I want you to like me. I want you to like my writing. I want you to read it and be moved or challenged or convicted or encouraged or maybe even amused. I want to make a difference, not just fill up white space. And so sometimes when I write a little voice inside my head starts to murmur about how no one's going to "get" me and how I need to just keep my thoughts to myself and save my writing for something that's really weighty.

But lately I'm thinking that I'm not writing for you anymore. I'm thinking that I need to start writing for me. And maybe I'll be the only one who reads it and "gets" it. Maybe I'll write about things that are embarrassing or heartbreaking, really deeply personal stuff. Maybe I'll be the only one challenged or encouraged or amused by my writing. And I'm starting to be okay with that.

Food for Thought

"One of the chief barriers to accepting God's generosity is our limited notion of what we are in fact able to accomplish. We may tune in to the voice of the creator within, hear a message--and then discount it as crazy or impossible. On the one hand, we take ourselves very seriously and don't want to look like idiots pursuing some patently grandiose scheme. On the other hand, we don't take ourselves--or God--seriously enough and so we define as grandiose many schemes that, with God's help, may fall within our grasp.

"Remembering that God is my source, we are in the spiritual position of having an unlimited bank account. Most of us never consider how powerful the creator really is. Instead, we draw very limited amounts of the power available to us. We decide how powerful God is for us. We unconsciously set a limit on how much God can give us or help us. We are stingy with ourselves. And if we receive a gift beyond our imagining, we often send it back."

--The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, pg. 91

Productivity

Today was a demanding day at work, as I was helping with a lot of last-minute preparations for a training class that begins tomorrow. Afterward I stayed to do a workout DVD with some co-workers, and by the time I got home I was exhausted physically and mentally.

Every fiber of my being wanted to crash on the couch and veg out, but since I’m taking a few days off from watching TV, I crashed in my office chair in front of my computer instead. I caught up with friends on email and Facebook, read some of my favorite blogs, browsed books on Amazon (I sense another purchase is imminent), caught up on the day’s news, and checked the weather forecast for the week.

My main motive in taking a break from TV this week was to tackle certain items on my to-do list. However, tonight I just don’t have the physical or mental stamina to deal with those projects without risking falling asleep at my desk. I’m not even sure I could get through more than handful of verses in my Bible without dozing off tonight. And I’ve decided that that’s okay.

It’s so easy to measure productivity by how many items I get to scratch off my to-do list. A productive life isn’t just about getting things done. It’s also about taking care of myself—getting enough rest, eating well, nourishing my mind and soul, fostering relationships that encourage and challenge and enrich me. Restorative rest doesn’t keep me from being productive; it is essential to me becoming more productive.

So tonight I’m going to hold off on doing laundry and updating my budget. Instead, I’m going to cut myself some slack and hit the hay early. Right now it’s probably the most productive thing I could do.

Time's A-Wastin'

My to-do list continues to expand, not only in chores that I need to do around the house and yard, but also things that I want to do. Lately, however, I've spent more time watching TV than tackling those items on the list, and this has got to end.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some TV, and that is the problem. More often than not I use television as background noise while I'm doing other things--including writing blog posts. But it's amazing how many hours can slip by while I'm endlessly flipping channels. I'm the world's worst channel surfer and have a tendency to watch a minimum of two shows at once; just last night I kept switching between "We Are Marshall", "House Hunters," and "Food Network Challenge" (fashion cakes, if you must know).

Every once in a while I feel God tugging me away from the TV so that I can focus on other things, and this is one of those times. This week I want to keep the TV off and use those precious hours that He's given me to work on a few things, namely writing, catching up with friends, Bible study, reading, and other activities that don't just entertain me but really feed my soul. Lately my heart has been on a junk food diet, so to speak, and I need to take some time to get back to some good healthy food.

So for those of you who know me, feel free to ask me about my fast from TV this week, and hold me accountable. Just don't tell me what happens this week on "Top Chef" or "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"--I'll wait and catch up when they re-air...

Update: Okay, I confess--my TV fast only lasted about a day. Last night when I got home from another brain and body-taxing day, I gave in to the temptation to veg out in front of the television and watch another "Food Network Challenge" while I ate my dinner. The good news is that after the show was over, I turned off the TV and did some productive things, including reading. So that's definitely progress. Cutting back on the amount of TV I watch is my ultimate goal, and so far, so good.

Beyond the Four Walls

It may sound blasphemous to say this, but more often than not, my greatest times of worship occur outside the confines of a church building. I'm not negating the value of regular church attendance--I grew up going to church every time the doors were open, and the importance of gathering with fellow believers is deeply instilled in me. I have worshipped inside of humble country churches and large, extravagant sanctuaries and other points in between, and have experienced many wonderfully uplifting, convicting and challenging worship sessions inside.

But there is something special to me about worshipping beyond the four walls of a church building. One of the ways I most see God's handiwork is through nature, so it's no surprise that some of my favorite worship experiences have taken place outside. I remember several years ago traveling to Disney World for a work conference. We arrived on Saturday but my conference didn't begin until Monday, so my co-workers and I spent Sunday at Animal Kingdom. My favorite ride was the animal safari ride, which we rode first thing that morning. As we rode through the park and saw lions, giraffes and other exotic creatures up close and personal, the song "This Is My Father's World" ran through my mind. I celebrated seeing these beautiful animals that God had created, animals that I didn't normally get to see during a worship service. That day remains one of my most beloved worship experiences.

One of my favorite places of worship is at the beach. Just a few weeks ago I had the privilege of sitting on a hotel balcony at the beach on Sunday morning, sipping coffee and reading my Bible and watching the waves crash upon the shore. There is something calming while also invigorating about being at the beach, smelling the salt air, feeling the fresh breezes wash over me and hearing the pounding of the surf. I remember a singles retreat in Panama City many years ago, when we had a beachside communion service just after midnight Sunday morning. There was something so special about sharing in the Lord's Supper together while sticking our toes in the sand and seeing the stars overhead.

While I'm certainly grateful for the amenities that a church building offers (heat and air conditioning for one thing, indoor plumbing for another), I think that having occasion to take my worship to the great outdoors will always be special to me. How about you--what are your favorite worship experiences?

A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action

There are times when I take on too much, try too hard to make things happen. In those times I often hear God say, gently but firmly, "Cease striving." It's tough sometimes to take my hands off the wheel and let Him steer, particularly when He seems to be veering off my carefully mapped-out course. And yet He always leads me to a place that is far greater than what I would have chosen, although it admittedly takes some time to recognize that.

While I often struggle with too much action, by the same token I also struggle at times with not taking action when I should. I can talk and plan and dream all day long about being a writer, but I'm not going to wake up one morning with a finished manuscript sitting on top of my desk. While I need to be willing to yield to God's plan for my life, in every area of my life, that does not mean I am to do nothing.

One of the ways I get tripped up is in not being able to see the outcome from the get go. I'm learning that being a good writer--or, for that matter, working toward any dream--does not mean I have to figure everything out before I get started. Indeed, the story will unfold as I write it. It will take unexpected twists and turns. I may think that I'm approaching the ending, only to discover that another chapter is ready to leap out of my head and through my fingers onto the keyboard.

Writing is not the only area where I've let uncertainty about the future keep me immobilized. I have some big goals and dreams, and too often I've let myself get overwhelmed with the logistics of it all and trying to figure out how to get from here to there as if I have to get there in one fell swoop. I'm trying to take small actions, little by little, step by step, toward these goals and dreams. It's time to stop doing so much talking and start taking action.

You Never Know

We live in a very results-oriented culture. When we put forth effort, we want to see results--and see them right away. If we've changed our diet and are exercising but the scale is not budging or our clothes are as tight as ever, we get discouraged. If our monetary investments don't produce income or, worse, take a nose dive, we consider rearranging our portfolio. If we perceive that something we're doing is ineffective, we take a good hard look at punting Plan A and moving to Plan B.

Given our desires for results, it's no wonder that living a Christian life can be such a struggle at times. It's a tough lesson to learn, but God's economy is not the same as ours. Results don't always come right away. In some cases, we can pray about something for months, even years, and not get answers. We can invest time and energy into friendships that don't seem to yield any fruit. That's frustrating and difficult to accept. The key word for me here is "seem". Just because I don't see evidence that my prayers are breaking through the ceiling up to God's ears or that I am impacting the lives of those around me, doesn't mean that it's not happening. Things are not necessarily what they seem.

Not too long ago I was reminded of something I had done for someone years ago. It was such a minor thing to me that I had long since forgotten about it, but they had not. I needed that reminder that my words and actions do have an impact, whether I'm aware of it or not. Remembering that helps spur me on to keep on praying about a difficult situation that seems hopeless. It encourages me to continue to invest in the lives of those around me even when I'm not seeing any changes.

We never know what God may be doing behind the scenes, how He is moving in our lives right now even though we feel stagnant. We don't know what relationships He may be using to mold us, what prayers He may be answering in unexpected ways, what losses He is preparing to turn into gains. The Christian walk is scary at times, and exciting at times, and anything but predictable. In the face of such unpredictabilities, I'm thankful for the assurances that God will never leave or forsake us, and that He can work all things for good, and that He is able to immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine. Some days, when I feel like my life is extraordinarily unproductive, I cling tightly to these promises. Praise God that things are not always what they seem.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Three friends and I recently began a study of the Neil T. Anderson book, The Bondage Breaker. Our first meeting was last week, and we spent some time sharing the lies that Satan tells us. One by one, we went around the table and named the lies that are most often hurled at us by the Accuser.

As we rattled off one lie after another, we found ourselves nodding our heads in agreement and saying "He tells me those lies, too." We found that we have nearly all of the same lies in common, lies such as:

• You have nothing to offer.
• You'll always be alone.
• No one wants you.
• You're a bother.
• You're not (good enough, smart enough, attractive enough....fill in the blank________)

One of the Enemy's tactics is to convince us that we're all alone, that no one will understand or, more importantly, care about whatever it is that's bothering us. So we shut our mouths and keep our worries and fears and pain inside, as to avoid risking rejection or being seen as a nuisance. It's only when we finally open up and allow others to see us--the good, the bad and even the ugly--that we can truly overcome these lies.

What lies has Satan hurled at you? Have you found others who can identify with those same lies?

I'm Letting Go

Can't get this song out of my head lately...you can listen to it here.

"I’m Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus:
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus:
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

A Time to Heal

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
...a time to kill and a time to heal (Ecclesiastes 3:1,3a)

I've been talking with a friend who is struggling through the loss of a close friendship. It's happened over the past few months, and it bothers her that this friendship still affects her so greatly, especially when the other party in this friendship does not seem to care. We both think that she is better off--but there is still a great sense of hurt and loss.

I myself have struggled the last few years with the loss of a relationship that continues to affect me. It's easy to let myself become frustrated because I still hurt over it and, therefore, feel like I'm not as far along in the healing process as I think I should be. There are times when I wish I could wave a magic wand and the hurt feelings would be gone.

Today I reminded my friend--as I've had to remind myself countless times--that she is experiencing a significant loss, and that she needs to allow time to grieve. Healing is a process, not one that happens overnight, and definitely not one that happens in textbook manner. What brings healing to you may not bring healing to me. What takes you a month to get over may take me a year, or vice versa. We all grieve differently--there is no wrong or right way to grieve, nor is there a timeline to follow.

God has certainly worked on my heart over the years and brought a lot of healing, but I still sense more to be done. As He allows memories to spring up unheeded and pain to come forth unexpectedly, I am trying to keep turning it over to Him, not resisting the pain but rather pressing into it and asking God what He's trying to teach me in the midst of it.

Glorious

God endowed you with a glory when he created you, a glory so deep and mythic that all creation pales in comparison. A glory unique to you, just as your fingerprints are unique to you, just as the way you laugh is unique to you. Somewhere down deep inside we've been looking for that glory ever since. A man wants to know that he is truly a man, that he could be brave; he longs to know that he is a warrior; and all his life he wonders, "Have I got what it takes?" A woman wants to know that she is truly a woman, that she is beautiful; she longs to know that she is captivating; and all her life she wonders, "Do I have a beauty to offer?"...

When you take a second glance in the mirror, when you pause to look again at a photograph, you are looking for a glory you know you were meant to have, if only because you know you long to have it. You remember faintly that you were once more than what you have become. Your story didn't start with sin, and thank God, it does not end with sin. It ends with glory restored: "Those he justified, he also glorified" (Rom. 8:30). And "in the meantime," you have been transformed, and you are being transformed. You've been given a new heart. Now God is restoring your glory. He is bringing you fully alive. Because the glory of God is you fully alive.

--Waking the Dead (pg. 78-79), John Eldredge

In the "Just for Fun" Department

Have some free time on your hands and looking for some truly funny and often bizarre photos to help relieve the boredom? Here are a couple of fun sites to check out (the titles say it all):

-Awkward Family Photos

-Cake Wrecks

The Motions

As I've been contemplating making some changes in my life, Matthew West's latest song, "The Motions", continues to reverberate in my mind. Lately I feel like I've become stagnant in life and I'm not where I want to be. There's definitely a sense of going through the motions in some aspects of my life.

I'm not always a big fan of change, particularly when I'm all settled and cozy where I am. But more and more I'm feeling pulled toward making some rather significant changes, scary and challenging as they might be. Sometimes you reach a point where the risk of staying where you are outweighs the risk of change.

"The Motions"

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the wayI don't wanna go through the motions

Writing

It's been a busy few weeks--a lot of work, some travel, some helping my parents as their house undergoes repairs from the recent flooding. But even in the moments of free time I've had, I've just not felt inspired to write. I know that all writers experience writer's block and experience times of drought and doubt, times of not knowing what to write about or uncertainty that what is on their minds is worth sharing. Still, it's frustrating to go through these times of feeling like I have nothing significant to say.

As a writer, I want my words to be helpful and encouraging. But I'm realizing that that doesn't necessarily mean that they have to be positive. I think that's what sometimes hinders me from writing--I have things to share that I can't just wrap up neatly with a bow and a happy ending, not yet anyway. It's easy to share the victories; it's much harder for me to share the defeats and discouragement.

Last night at our life group we talked about various Biblical figures who inspire us. I shared that David inspires me in particular in the Psalms he wrote, in that he wrote of his doubts and fears and sense of abandonment by God just as often as he wrote of his trust and hope in God to come through for him. He was not afraid to share all of his emotions--the good, the bad and the ugly. Reading his intimate, gut-level honest thoughts inspires me to strive to have that same open communication with God first and foremost, and with others as much as possible. After all, God did not gift me with the ability to write just for myself, but to edify and exhort and encourage others.

So even though I may not always like what I feel compelled to share, I know I need to be willing to share thoughts and experiences--the good, the bad and the ugly--as God prompts me to do so. It's not easy for me to open myself up; it's painful at times. But I think it can be cathartic as well.

Waiting, Hoping, and Interceding

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. (Romans 8:18-27)

Saving the Earth

I have nothing against Earth Day, although I do think it's become so commercialized with nearly every company touting "green" products or "eco-friendly" practices. As Christians I believe that we are called to use our earthly resources wisely every day, not just once a year or because it's the popular, "PC" thing to do.

God created the earth and everything in it, and therefore what He created is good and not to be taken advantage of or abused. However, this earth as we know it will one day pass away, to be replaced by a new earth that will be eternal. And while I'm all for recycling aluminum and using tote bags instead of paper and plastic to cart my groceries to the car, I need to remember that God is far more interested in saving this planet's inhabitants rather than saving the planet itself.

So as television shows and retailers mark "Earth Day", I too want to acknowlege it in a few ways:

-Reducing noise pollution by steering clear of gossip, slander, and complaining, three areas that I tend to struggle with quite often. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. (Col. 3:8)

-Recycling kindness and generosity: A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. (Prov. 11:25)

-Sowing seeds for the kingdom: Then Jesus came to them [the disciples] and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)

Let's honor the Creator by taking care of ALL of His creation--not only the earth, but the people He has put into our lives on this earth as well.

Coach

During my junior and senior years at Lipscomb University, I had the thrill of working in the Sports Information office. I spent countless afternoons, nights and weekends there, working on promotions for upcoming games, penning news releases, calling in box scores to newspapers after games, and the like. For a sports lover such as myself, it was a dream job, being in such close proximity to the action, particularly during basketball season.

At the time, Don Meyer was the long-time head coach of the men's basketball team. He cared a great deal about his players, and expected a great deal of them. Not long after I graduated, Coach left Lipscomb to become the head men's basketball coach at Northern State. Last fall he was critically injured in a car accident, and during surgery following the accident doctors discovered that he had inoperable cancer. His recovery from the accident and his return to coaching have been nothing less than inspirational, as this recent profile by ESPN shows: http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4068083&categoryid=3060647 .

I'm thankful that Coach's faith and his love for his family have been strengthened through all that he's gone through, and that his life is a powerful testimony to God's faithfulness in adversity.

Dark Days

In between the crucifixion and the resurrection was a day that had to seem like one of the longest and loneliest to Jesus' followers. I wonder how many had gotten any sleep the night before, and, if any did, I wonder how many woke up wondering, hoping, that the events that had occurred the day before were just a nightmare.

The day after Jesus' death was a Saturday, a Sabbath day. It was meant to be a day of rest from work, a day to reflect upon God and His work. I wonder how many disciples found themselves questioning how all of this could have happened, and why didn't God do something to prevent it.

We all have these dark days, when the worst that could happen has happened to us. A family member dies. We lose our job. Someone we love walks out of our lives. And we're left with questions: Why did this happen? or Why me? or Could I have prevented this? or What good can possibly come from this?

I have a feeling that the questions we ask on these dark days are not a far cry from those asked by Jesus' disciples the day after the crucifixion. When I read the story of the crucifixion, I don't despair as the disciples did--because I know what comes next. I know that Sunday--Resurrection Sunday, to be precise--is coming. I already know that Jesus conquers the grave and wins the war against Satan for all time.

But when I'm in my own personal times of darkness, I don't always have that same hope. I often question God, question myself, and worry about what's going to happen. Sometimes it's difficult to look ahead to the unknown, particularly when Satan tries to fill my mind with thoughts of fear and disillusionment. The Easter story reminds me that there IS hope in the midst of darkness, and that God IS at work even when He seems silent or distant or not there at all.

The Lord Will Provide

Last night in our ladies' Bible study we learned about some of the names of God that are used in the Bible. One of the names we discussed is one that I'd heard of before and has become a favorite of mine: YHWH Jireh, which means "The Lord Will Provide." This particular name of God has always spoken to me and reassured me of His abundance.

I learned last night that this name is used in Genesis 21, when Abraham takes his son, Isaac, to the mountain to sacrifice him as a burnt offering at God's request. When Isaac asked where the lamb for the burnt offering was, Abraham replied, "God himself will see to it."

Last night I realized that so often I lack the confidence that Abraham had that God will see to my needs. Much of my prayer time is focused on pouring out my complaints and requests before God--which I know He wants to hear. But so little of that time is spent praising God for knowing that He not only CAN but WILL provide. On my way home from Bible study, I began praising and thanking God in advance for the ways that He was going to answer my prayers and deal with the trials that I face. I still don't know how He's going to handle them, but I am thankful that He IS going to provide in His time and in His ways.